


Semper Fi

by Ficcy



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-26 18:18:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3859888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ficcy/pseuds/Ficcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe. Oliver is a war veteran, Felicity stands between him and his peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home?

**Author's Note:**

> This story in inspired by the many many war veterans I know and the friends they have lost. 
> 
> Story is Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> I don't own anything Arrow related, though if I owned that Salmon ladder, Olive would never get off, weeeeeell.
> 
> Would love some constructive critisism, but please no flames, I cry easily.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver is a war veteran, who is struggling with settling back into his old life. Felicity is the person who holds the key to his peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all that have reviewed and kudos and bookmarked my story. Thanks to some great constructive critisism I have reposted chapters 1 and 2 to fix some mistakes and get some better continuity in the story.

_June 25 2014_

  
He woke, startled, sweat dripping down his face and the back of his neck. The sound of explosions ringing in his memory. The dust, the ground shaking, yells of his comrades and brothers in arms, the feel of blood on his arms and his head, sometimes his own, sometimes not. Oliver gasped for a breath that he was sure he could not take in, he wiped his arms with his hands, hoping to rid his body of the death of his friends, but it was not there, it was a dream, or a nightmare, truly, if he were being honest.  
“Ollie, you okay?” the voice of his sister broke through his haze. Thea stood in his doorway, in her PacMan pajamas, a look of concern on her impossibly innocent face.  
“Sorry Speedy, I’m fine” he answered with as much truth as he could muster.  
“You’re not fine Ollie” she took a deep breath and continued on, “ I heard you scream across the house," she took a breath and continued on "Who’s Dig?”  
Olivers heart stopped. He never thought to hear that name again, especially not from his teenage sister. He realized he must have said it in his sleep. He knew he could not blow her off at this point, he had done that for the last 4 weeks since his return, she deserved an answer.  
“Digg was one of my friends. He was with me when Sarah alerted on the IED. He’s gone, so is she.” He turned his head and tried to go back to sleep, hoping against hope that his sister would get the hint and go back to her bed. Instead he felt the side of his mattress give to her weight and her hand caress his back for a brief moment.  
“I am so sorry Ollie” the catch in her voice turned him around. He grabbed her hand, not knowing what else he could do. He knew she was trying, but he also realized there was nothing she could do to make him feel better. Nothing anyone could do to ease the pain. His friends were gone, it was his fault. Nothing could change that.

  
_June 25, 201_ _4_

  
Felicity had always been a dog lover. She had never been allowed to have one as a child, her mother was deathly allergic, but she had always wanted one. Now, she was an adult, she had moved away, far away, after graduating from MIT (top of her class), and settled into a new townhouse in Starling City. And now, by goodness, she was getting a dog!  
But she had no idea what kind of dog to get. Small, large, protective, loving, fluffy, short haired, she was at a loss. Felicity spent hours looking on Petfinder.com for just the right dog. But even with all of the amazingly adorable faces, none jumped out at her. None screamed “you are my new mom Felicity”. She laughed at her ridiculousness (was that even a word?), a dog was a dog. But still she felt that the perfect pet was out there. She just had to keep looking.  
“Seriously, how can there be so many dogs that need homes?” she shook her head while trolling the too many adoptable dogs pages on the internet. “I mean really? That dog is adorable? Who would give them up?” her faith in mankind lessening with each scroll though the adoptable dog pages. It had been a month and she was no closer to finding the dog that captured her heart, than when she started her search.  
An alert caught her attention. She had been tagged in a post, not being able to ignore it; she clicked on the alert, which took her to a separate page.  
“MWD Danny and Sarah need homes.” Felicity shook her head and looked to who had tagged her, it was her mother. Of course.  
“What’s an MWD?” Felicity asked out loud to the empty room? A quick google search led her to a page dedicated to the rehoming of Military Working Dogs.  
“Oh hell no, I can’t handle a military dog” Felicity thought to herself, as she scrolled though the page. “I need a nice calm easy going pet” she said to herself, but her fingers kept clicking on pages of ex-military dogs that needed homes. There were so many. One stood out from the rest. A Malinois named “Sara”. Felicity could not help but be drawn to her picture.  
“Sara is an 8 yo spayed female Malinois that served as a bomb detection dog in Afghanistan and Iraq, protecting our troops from IED and being credited with saving multiple lives. Due to injuries acquired in the filed ad her age, Sara was released for adoption. She is an outgoing dog, who needs an active home with working K9 experience. We have reached out to former handlers, but at this time, none are able to adopt Sara, please don’t let her become another military statistic. Sara is fully recovered from injuries she recieved while deployed and would make an excellent companion to the right home.” Felicity stared at the dog’s picture, the black mask, slightly greyed; the pleading eyes and felt her heart jump. This was her dog. She just knew it. But she had zero “working dog experience”  
“What the hell” she said to herself, she was going to apply for her. 4 pages of questions later and Felicity hit “send” on her application for the MWD known as Sara. Now it was a waiting game.

  
_June 25, 2014_

  
“Mom I need the truth, what happened to Digg and what happened to Sara?” Oliver was pissed, he got the feeling, from his family, that they were not telling him important details and he needed to know what had happened to his unit.  
“Oliver, I need you to calm down” his mother tried to remain relaxed.  
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” his breath came in short gasps, his ribs hurt and his head pounded, but he needed the truth. “What happened to them mom, please, just…I need to know” he hoped his pleading face broke her, as it always had; and this time was no different.  
“Oliver, I need you to understand that this was for your own good, we were trying to help you heal and get better," she hesitated and Oliver broke in,  
“Just fuckin tell me” he knew, in his heart, that there could only be bad news.  
“Digg survived the blast” his mother said so quietly that he almost did not hear her. “But he was badly injured, he nearly lost his left arm and his left leg, he is in a rehab facility in Texas right now.”  
“I need to see him” he answered the revelation, “NOW!” he was surprised by his vehemence, but it was justified. Dig had saved his life, on more occasions than he could count. He was his best friend; he needed to be there for him.  
“I don’t think that’s wise” his mother answered, disapproval ringing in her voice.  
“Why the hell not?”  
“Son, I know you want to see you friend”  
“You have no idea what I am going through” he interrupted with a growl he was sure did not belong to him. “How dare you keep this from me for 2 weeks? 2 weeks!!!!!!!” his voice getting louder with each word.  
“Oliver, I know you are hurting,”  
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM FEELING!!!” His anger boiled over. He wanted to reach out and strangle her, even moving his hands out to mimic the gesture. The look on his mothers face stopped him. Horrified, he drew back his hands and looked away. His shame at the desire to physically hurt his own mother overwhelmed him.  
“Honey, I can't pretend to know what you have been through, but I am here. I will find out about Digg, Ok?”  
Ashamed, Oliver hung his head and nodded towards his mother. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as she slinked out the room, never turning her back on him.

  
_August 9, 2014_

  
“Miss Smoak, thank you for talking with me today. I am Sonja, a volunteer with the Warrior Dog Foundation and I will be processing your application.” Felicity rubbed her sweating hands on her jeans and held the phone to her ear.  
“I just have a few basic questions to make sure that you are a good fit for Sara.”  
“Sure, no problem” Felicity answered. She had not been this nervous since her first date with Connor in college.  
“Ok, so… Sara needs an experienced home. But I see in your application that you have never owned a dog before…” the question was left hanging and Felicity knew this was her chance, to get out or to be all in.  
“No, I have never been allowed to own a dog before. My mother was allergic. But I recently moved to a new town, have a good job and great house and I think I am ready for a dog.”  
“But you have no experience with working dogs?” Felicity could hear the disapproval in the woman’s voice.  
“No ma’am, I don’t.” she could hear the sigh on the other end of the line and knew she was getting shut down. Felicity trudged forward, never one ot give up in the face of adversity.  
“I may not have experience with working dogs, but I am willing to learn. In fact, I have been going every night to dog training classes, I have been attending dog trials, I joined the Belgian Malinois Club and have been talking to working dog handlers and sport dog handlers and have been out to tests and trial and trainings. I am not experienced, but that’s ok. I am willing to learn, I love learning. I know I have no idea what I am doing, but I can learn, I want to learn, I want to learn with Sara. Please, don’t rule me out because I have no experience. You can’t get experience without a first dog. Sara deserves someone to fight for her, like she fought for her handlers. Please Sonja, I can do this. I am ready, I am willing, I can do this, just give me the chance to give this girl the home she deserves.” The silence hung in the air, Felicity was sure that she had been hung up on, but finally a voice from the other end came through.  
“I can’t guarantee anything, but I will finish your application, good luck Miss Smoak.” With that the phone call was done and Felicity was set to wait. She just knew in her heart that this was her dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all the men and women who serve in uniform, in country and at home. While none of the friends I have, have ever had to deal with PTSD, it is a very real problem. Our soldiers deserve support and resourses to help them. Anything I bring up in regards to Oliver and how he is affected by his time in service is based solely on research. So, to those of you that have been through this, I apologize if I in any way get it wrong, or make light of a very real issue. That is not my intention.
> 
> If you or anyone you know needs help, please reach out to 
> 
> http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/where-to-get-help.asp
> 
> Many MWD are available for adoption, previous handlers are always given priority, but often they are not in a place to adopt, if you think your family may be a good home please contact
> 
> www.warriordogfoundation.org


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all those that have given me Kudos and bookmarks and reviews! Its pretty cool to now that people are enjoying my story!
> 
> My plan is to update every Monday or Tuesday.

August 9, 2014

“Digg” Oliver’s voice broke through the beeping of the hospital equipment.

“Hey man”, the sound of his best friend answering him was incredible. Last Oliver knew or saw was Digg getting thrown across the street as an IED exploded.

“Looking good my man” Oliver answered. Taking in the white sheet covering his friends decimated legs.

“Hard not to” Digg answered. A smile graced his face and Oliver relaxed a bit. He was hard pressed to not be scared to see his best friend again. It had been nearly 2 months and there had been no contact between them. Oliver had though him dead, along with a good part of his squadron.

“I thought you were dead” Oliver’s voice broke; he inhaled deeply, trying to rein in the emotion that tried to fight its way to the surface.

“Takes more than that to get me down.” His friend struggled to sit upright in his hospital bed. Oliver moved quickly to help, but Dig threw out his arm in protest. “I got it” was all he said and Oliver backed off, watching his friend struggle to sit up was torture, but it was better than the alternative. “What are you doing here?” Dig finally asked, once he was settled in a sitting position.

“My mom finally told me you were here, guess she was trying to protect me or something. I am sorry I wasn’t here sooner, had a bit of recovering to do myself. And I did try to call, but they would let any calls though, unless it as family. ” He ran his hand across the back of his neck in frustration.

“You should be home, with you sister, your mom, Laurel.” Dig answered back.

“Laurel moved on man, with my friend Tommy.”

“Damn, sorry man, that sucks.”

“It’s ok, really. She deserved better that some broken down war freak that can’t sleep through the night and gets angry for no reason. Tommy is a good guy, better for her than I will ever be.” Oliver took a deep breath and continued on, “so how are you?”

Digg let out a laugh “Fine dude, just fine, gonna lose my left leg, but the technology now man, going to have a better one than before.”

“I am so sorry Dig. I wish I could have done more. It’s my fault. I didn’t trust Sara, I should have. It’s my fault you are here.”

“Oliver, man, listen. It’s not your fault, it’s not Sara’s fault. It’s really no ones fault. It just is. I’m cool with it. Really. The Docs tried to save it, but they can’t. We all did our best. That’s all we could do.” Oliver listened to his friend. Tried to believe what he said, but in the end, he knew it was his fault, he fucked up. His partner gave them the warning, but he did not trust her, did not believe her, and now his friend was going to lose his leg and his partner was dead.

The room was quiet, the two men lost in their own thoughts and a world away.

“So who has Sara now?” Diggs words broke through Oliver’s haze and he shot a look to his friend.

“What?” he was genuinely confused

“Sara? Who has her while you are here?”

“Sara’s dead Digg. I saw her get thrown by that IED.” Oliver felt like his world was crashing around him.

“No man, she made it. She was with me when they found us. I know you were knocked out, but she was with me. They brought her with us. The Docs, they worked on her, she made it.”

Oliver felt the blood rush to his head, the sound, like waves crashing on the shoreline, his world closed in on him in that moment and he knew he needed more information, but could not process what was being said. His partner survived? Where was she? Why had he not been called? Was she already back in country?

“So I am guessing you had no idea she made it?” Digg’s words finally broke through his haze.

“No. I saw her get thrown; I saw her still on the side of the road. I saw her dead Digg!” His voice got louder with each word and he was not surprised when a nurse poked her head into the room. 

“I think it’s time Mr. Diggle got his rest. You can come back and visit tomorrow.” The woman said, giving Oliver a death stare.

He was on edge. The last month had thrown everything he thought he knew into a loop. He could not understand why his mother had not told him that his friend and partner had survived. He could not process the memories of seeing them “dead” on that dirty road.

 

“Are you sure? Are you positive she made I out of country?” He asked his friend.

“Last I saw her, she gave me a lick and tail wag and grabbed my pocket like I had a toy hidden. She made it man. I am sure.” Oliver allowed the words of truth to wash over him, and for the first time since he had woken up he felt the stirrings of hope.

“See you tomorrow Digg.” Oliver stood up and moved out of his friends’ room, but his mind was racing. He was living in a world where not only his best friend had survived but his partner as well. He would find her. He would bring her home.

 

August 9, 2014

The call came 2 weeks later. In that time Felicity had continued to look at other dogs for adoption, but none had captured her heart like Sara, so she never pursued them. She just waited. She had given the process 2 months, so far it had been 6 weeks, but after that she would start being serious again about looking for another dog.

She was surprised when she got home from work and found a message on her home voice mail. Most of her calls are routed to her cellphone. And she rarely gave her home phone number out to anybody.

“Miss Smoak, my name is Nyssa; I am in charge of finalizing adoptions for the Warrior Dog Foundation. I spoke with Sonja, and she was very impressed with your determination and willingness to learn, due to her endorsement, you have been approved to adopt Sara, pending a home visit. Please call me back within 48 hours so that we can finalize the process and I can answer any questions you may have.”

She played the voice mail over and over and still could not believe that she had been approved. But wait, what? A home visit? She had no experience, she had never owned a dog, she was clueless, heck, and 6 weeks ago she had to Google, malinois, the breed Sara was. Of course since then she had researched the heck out of Malinois. She knew they were not your average pet, that they could be very difficult and dominant. A common theme to the Malinois was a breed that is easily excited, quick to challenge an owner, not overly affectionate, always ready to work, never a couch potato. But she felt ready. Her heart pounded out of her chest as she returned the call. 

“Hello, Nyssa? This is Felicity Smoak; I am returning your call about Sara.”

“Yes, Miss Smoak, thank you for calling me back. Sara has been a bit difficult to place. And even though you are not experienced with working dogs, you have the most appropriate home for her.”

“Why has she not been easy to place? She seems perfect, at least based on her description?” Felicity was curious as to why others would pass up this wonderful dog.

“Well, Sara does not get along with cats or small dogs; she can be stubborn and has lots of energy. We tried to place her with a former handler, but none are in a position to take her. I need to be honest and let you know that she is showing signs of post-traumatic stress.” The line went silent and Felicity was waiting to hear more but it never came.

“Can you explain what that means please?” she finally asked.

“Well, she lashes out during stressful encounters. Thunderstorms for example, she gets panicked and has growled at some staff. Also, loud areas, lots of screaming, like with kids, she gets very nervous and is quick to either do, what we call “shut down” or get overly protective. We thought she may not be placeable, due to that aggression, but we wanted to talk with you about it first and see what you are willing to deal with.”

Felicity was silent as she processed this new information. Could she really handle a working dog with aggression issues? Her logical side said “no frakkin way”, but her sentimental side told her this dog saved soldiers, this dog lived through hell, this dog deserved a home, damnit, deserved to have some fight FOR HER. And her momma never raised a quitter. 

“She can also be possessive of her food and toys, which, we don’t think, is related to her many deployments, but it’s an issue. You are, for lack of a better word, an unexperienced handler, and these issues are pretty big. So I understand if you want to wait for another dog. In fact, we have lovely lab that’s looking for a home”

“No, no, no. Its Sara, I want Sara. I have a great trainer; I can help her, let me help her.” Felicity pleaded. “She deserves someone to help her, right? I mean, she did all that in a war zone, of course she is going to be messed up, and of course she is going to be shell shocked. I can do it, Nyssa. She deserves it. Please.”

“Of course, Miss Smoak. I just have to do my due diligence and let you know that she does not come without issues. I will send you some links and some contacts of good trainers in your area that can help you with her retraining.” The voice on the other end of the line was caring and soft and Felicity automatically calmed down. “We do need to set up a home visit. Just to make sure that you are who you say you are. And it gives us a chance to answer any more questions and help you prepare.”

“Thank you, for everything, I promise that she will be my best friend. I will make this work.” Felicity said into the phone. “You give me a day and time and I will be here for the visit.”

“That’s all we can ask. But if for any reason you can’t handle her, she comes back to us.” Nyssa said, very clearly letting Felicity know that no matter what, Sara had a soft place to fall. “We have a volunteer in your area that can come by this Saturday around 1 pm. Would that work for your schedule?”

“I will make it work.” Felicity said with determination in her voice. Felicity looked around her townhome, was it good enough? Was it clean enough? Dog friendly? But she also knew that come hell or high water, Sara would be with her, for the rest of her life. There was no going back.

“So once I pass the home visit, where and when do I get her?” was the only question she had left. She gathered information as she simultaneously researched “shutting down” and “pot traumatic aggression” in dogs and how to handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reuniting MWDs with their handlers is a real thing. Often handlers are still out of country when a dog becomes available for adoption. While they are given preference, many dogs slip through the cracks.
> 
> http://missionk9rescue.org/ is one of the many amazing organizations that helps reunite handlers with partners. Dogs that cannot be placed with former handlers are often placed in civilian homes.


	3. Chapter 3

August 24, 2014

Oliver was on a mission. He had no idea how hard it was going to be, but he was going to find out what happened to Sara and he was going to make sure she was okay. It was the very least he could do for her after all she had sacrificed for him and his unit.

His first call was to his commanding officer, General Slade Wilson. Who had zero information for him in regard to Sara, except to tell him that to the ‘best of his knowledge the dog was treated and shipped to Germany, for further medical care and then was sent either back in country with another handler or back stateside. He did offer to do some research to see if he could find her back in country, but, with so many dogs, some being transferred to private firms, he was not sure he could be of any help.

Oliver could not believe that an integral part of their team, a member that saved countless soldiers lives was so easily discarded after they were no longer useful. It made him sick to his stomach. How could they not know exactly where she was?

“Mother, I need your help” Oliver was loath to ask his mother for anything, after she had withheld so much from him. Not letting him know about Diggle was nearly the final straw, but he knew that she had Defense Department connections that he could never hope to access on his own.

“Of course son, what can I do?” he could tell she was sorry. She had a difficult time looking him in the eye. Moira Queen never had issues looking people in the eye, even as she stabbed them in the back, it was on of things he hated and admired about her. After exploding on her for not telling him about Digg, she had softened. He knew she was only trying to protect him. But there was no way she could understand the bonds of service, or the friendships and brotherhood that formed under the veil of war.

“I need to find Sara.” Was all he could say. He hated even asking her, but he had tried for weeks to locate her and run across nothing but red tape. No one seemed to be able to tell him what happened to his partner. No one could even tell him if she had survived the trip to Germany or the trip home or even if she was redeployed.

“Why Oliver? Why can’t you just let this go? Your father would want you to let it go, to take your place in the company. I have tried to understand your being a soldier, I have supported your need to…”

“Will you help me or not?” Oliver tried to keep his voice even, but his temper was getting harder to control. He could hear his friends moaning in pain, the sounds of gunfire, the cold in his limbs. He did not want to lash out at his mother, but the more she talked, the harder it became to ignore the tightening in his chest, the unmistakeable urge to “force” the answer he wanted out of her.

“JUST HELP ME PLEASE!” He finally screamed at her. He rubbed his thumbs deep into his palms, trying to regain some control of his body and his mind, to center himself and to speak in a controlled manner. She backed away from him, her arms crossing in front of her chest, in an unconscious gesture of protection. It just frustrated him even more. That frustration turned quickly to anger. How dare she be scared of him. She knew him better than anyone. She knew he would never hurt her. How dare she be acting this way.

He drew his hand across his neck and rubbed the spot between his eyes, trying to get his control back. “Please mother, I need to know what happened to her, please” he pleaded.

Finally Moira relented, realizing that she needed to tell the truth. 

“She is back in the states.” His eyes shot to his mothers, a question remaining. “They called, you had just come home, could barely move, could not even think about caring for a dog. They were looking to retire her, not send her back. I told them you couldn’t take her.”

Oliver saw red, he had never been so angry in his life. How dare his mother make that decision for him, how dare she not tell him. He was trying to formulate a response when he heard her speak again.

“Oliver, listen to me, please” he heard her pleading words, but he could not register them. The streets of war came rushing back, the smell of gunpowder, the roaring of trucks, the cries of locals, all he felt was a touch on his arm. His reaction was instinctual, he lashed out, grabbing the arm that touched him and manipulating it behind the enemies back, holding them there.

“Oliver, stop, please, stop, you’re hurting me, please Oliver I’m sorry” but the words meant nothing, his vision was crowded with sights he thought were gone.

“Ollie STOP!!!” the shrill voice of his sister broke through his memories, he jerked his head in the direction of her voice. “Ollie, stop, please.” Her broken words, on the verge of tears brought him back. He looked down and saw that he had his mothers arm trapped behind her back in a hold that would easily have broken her arm had he want to. Horrified, he let go. She grasped the arm he had been holding, and rubbed it, trying to get the feeling back.

Oliver fell to his knees, cradling his head in his hands, trying to rid his ears of the sounds that permeated it, he had very nearly hurt his mother. The shame and guilt overwhelming him. 

“Mom, I’m sorry, I am so sorry” his voice barely a whisper.

“Its ok, son its ok.” He felt her arms wrap tightly around his chest, squeezing him, her tears wet on his neck. “I knew you were in no condition to care for her, and Thea and I couldn’t handle her. She needed to be able to be adopted by someone that COULD help and love her. I am sorry, had I known, I am sorry, I will help you find Sara, but you need to get help, please, Oliver, you need help. I don’t know how to help you.” His mothers voice cracked under the pressure, tears steamed down her face and he glanced at his sister, who was crying openly as well

All he could do was nod his head. He needed it. He knew now, that the lack of sleep, the weird appetite, the anger, he needed to talk to someone. He grabbed his mother into an embrace and flinched when she stiffened up at his returned embrace. He couldn’t blame her one bit. He had hurt her. He also knew that she was right. He was not stable enough to handle a dog. But it still hurt, knowing that his partner was out there, unsure and scared and not with someone she trusted. She deserved to be with someone she trusted.

“I’m sorry mom, I am so sorry, I will fix this, I promise” he whispered in her ear.

“You don’t have to apologize Oliver, I love you. I just want to help you. We will find Sara, I promise.” And for the first time since his homecoming, Oliver broke down in tears. His mother grabbed tighter and Thea wrapped her arms around his other side, holding him up.

 

August 24, 2014

“Okay Sara, Welcome Home!!” Felicity tried in her cheeriest voice. Sara slinked in the door behind her and sat down. Her ears were flat to her head and she was shaking, tail tucked between her back legs.

“Its ok girl, this is your new home, enjoy” Felicity removed the dogs leash and started walking to the kitchen to fill Sara’s water bowl and grab a treat. When she came out of the kitchen Sara was still frozen in the same place she left her. Felicity tried to coax her away from the door with a treat, with praise, a toy (the only time she showed even the slightest interest) but in the end nothing worked. Finally Felicity broke down and called Roy. The dog trainer she had met while researching the breed.

“Roy help, please. I just got Sara home and she wont move from the front door. I don’t know what to do.” Her panicked voice resonating through the phone lines.

“Felcity, remember, this was a working military dog, she has most likely never been in an actual home before. She was raised in a kennel, taken to a kennel for training, then shipped to a kennel, paired with a handler, who kept her in a kennel until deployed. She is confused. Give her boundaries, give her rules, give her a damn kennel.”

“Oh my God, you are right, I have a crate, but its in my bedroom.”

“Bring it to the living room and get another for the bedroom.” He answered quickly.

“Ok, shit. Roy, what did I get myself into. I don’t know if I can do this.” her fears finally breaking through, what if she messed up, what if she was the not the home this dog deserved.

“Jesus Felicity, it’s been 10 minutes, calm down. Get the crate, bring it to the living room, and see what she does.”

“Ok, hold on” Felicity dropped the phone on the couch and went to the bedroom to get the crate, she dragged it out of the bedroom and placed in next to the couch in the living room. Once she walked away from it, Sara ran straight into it and lay down.

“Well shit, she went right into the crate and laid down.”

“Yeah, makes sense. So just let her decomspress ok. Give her a chance to get comfy in your home. Keep the crate open. Let her be.”

“Thank you Roy.” Felicity was so grateful she had met a great trainer in her research. 

“No problem.” He hung up the phone and Felicity sat down on the couch after warming up a Hot Pocket. “ Well girl it’s just you and me I guess.” There was no movement from the crate and Felicity settled into an “Agents of Shield” marathon, she had all weekend to be patient.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um Yeah, so who is still in shock at the season finale???? I think I have watched it 10 times already, hence the early chapter. I needed to get my fill!!
> 
> Anyway, thanks for the reviews and Kudos!! I love constructive criticism so bring it on!!
> 
> Finally, Oliver and Felicity meet, and the journey begins!!

_September 8, 2014_

“Ok Sara, time for a walk!” Felicity tried to be upbeat, and Sara was slowly responding. She had stopped being completely shut in the crate, she was finally poking her head out when Felicity moved or brought out the leash. It was progress and truthfully it had only been 2 weeks. Roy told her to expect this type of shut down behavior for about 6 weeks. Sara was certainly not what she expected. But Felicity was coping. The responsibility of a dog was new, having to be home, (even though she always was) the walking, the knowledge that she was responsible for another life. It was overwhelming at times. And Sara was certainly not what she had envisioned. In her mind, Felicity had imagined a dog wagging her tail when she came home, cuddling with her on the couch, laying next to her on her bed, giving her kisses. And Sara had done none of this. Except the tail wagging, while, Felicity never saw it, she heard it, thwumping in the crate.

Felicity had a great job at Queen Consolidated, the IT department was bustling and Felicity was in her element. But at home, with her new dog, well it was a learning process. But they were learning together. Most of the time, she thought that Sara had no idea she even existed except to feed and walk her. If not for those times, Sara would remain in one of two crates, just peeking out on occasion. Felicity made sure to walk her new dog 3 times a day for at least 2 miles, and Sara always seemed to like the walks, sniffing the trees and putting her nose up in the air. But at home, well at home, Sara stayed in her crate. The door was never closed, but that’s where she stayed. Felicity felt as if there was no bond forming until the third week.

Sara had continued to be a “shut in”. But one night Felicity had been woken up by a strange whine. She rolled over and opened her eyes to find her new dog sitting next her bed, just staring at her. She stifled a scream, as it was always unexpected to find another pair of eyes staring back at you in the night. But when she reached out to pet Sara, the dog darted back into her crate. But it was a start. This routine continued over the next week. Each night Felicity would wake, seeing Sara staring at her, but each time she went to pet and reassure her, Sara would dart back to her crate.

Felicity found herself just talking to the new dog while she was going about her day. She would explain to her what was happening on her favorite shows and walk her through how to cook the perfect Hot Pocket. And she often heard Sara’s tail thumping against the crate in response, and on a few occasions she would find the dog out of the crate, looking at her from around a corner. Felicity knew she was gaining the dogs trust, and that it was going to take time, but she was seeing good progress. Until one night, a thunderstorm swept through Starling city. Felicity woke to her bed shaking. At first, due to the haze of sleep, she thought there was an earth quake, but once she fully woke up, she realized that Sara was in bed next her, shaking so hard the entire bed shook. Felicity tried to comfort her petrified companion. But when she placed her hand on her dogs back, Sara tensed and let out a very low growl. Felicity pulled her hand back and lay quietly next to her dog. Terrified of what could happen. She remembered that Nyssa had said that Sara had shown aggression during storms and loud noises, and now Felicity was trapped in a bed with a military dog, that was angry and scared. She slowly rolled over and tried to ignore Sara, hoping that she would relax and not attack her, knowing that she needed to talk to Roy. She had no idea how to fix this.

Morning came and found Sara back in her crate, acting as if nothing had happened, her head poking out of the door, as it had every morning since she came home. Felicity could not help but be on edge, she walked toward her, slowly, eyes downcast, to greet her, and Sara again let out a low growl, showing teeth and retreating back into the crate. Felicity herself retreated, now terrified of the dog that she had been sharing her home with.

“Roy, its Felicity, I need help, please call me back. I’m scared.” Her shaky voice left a message on her trainers voice mail and she moved away to make coffee and get dressed. Sara came out of her crate to follow her, staying just outside of touching range, peeking around doors, but keeping Felicity in her sights. Felicity tried to remain calm, but for the first time, she realized her vulnerability. This dog could potentially attack her and do pretty serious damage, and no one would be the wiser.

The sound of her phone ringing brought her out of her fear spiral. She answered the handset in her bedroom.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she heard the calm voice of Roy on the other end of the line.

“I think Sara is plotting my death.” Was all she could say, she could see the dog out the corner of her eye, standing in her bedroom doorway, watching her.

“Why?” he asked.

Felicity explained what was happening, and what had transpired the night before.

“Ok, I need you to do exactly what I say. First, no sudden moves towards her ok?”

“Oh don’t worry about that” she answered

“I am coming over, but you are going to need to snap her out of this before I get there, or I don’t think she will let me in the house. So you need to do what I say, ok?” He sounded so confident that she could do nothing but agree.

“Ok, I need you to stand up but not make eye contact with her, pretend she is not there at all.”

“Really? Cause she has pretty much been focused on me for a while, no way she is going to buy this,” her panicked voice breaking with stress.

“Felicity, you have to do this, you have to show her that you are not scared, that you are in control, or she will never trust you. Don’t try to interact with her, just stand up, and put your chin in the air, relax your shoulders, and walk out of your room, right past her, don’t acknowledge her at all.”

“I can’t do this”

“Yes you can, you have to. No choice, she is your dog now, you have to do this.”

“OK” she took a deep breath and started walking toward he door.

“Breathe Felicity, you have to believe you are in control” she let out the breath she had been holding and started breathing normally, taking a few steps towards he dog that was “guarding” the door.

“Just breath normal, eyes forward, you can do this, take control of your house. Its YOUR house, you pay the bills, you pay the mortgage, you can do this Felicity.” His words of encouragement helped her, a deep breath in and out and she walked right past Sara, who moved out of her way as she passed. Once she was in the living room, she turned a bit and fought back the urge to do a little dance. She just listened to her trainers voice as he walked her through this.

“Ok, I am in the living room.”

“Where is Sara?” he asked. Felicity looked around and her eyes settled on Sara, sitting about 10 feet away, ears relaxed, back toward her skull, panting.

“She is sitting a few feet away.”

“How does she look? Is she stiff, shaking, relaxed, looking around?”

“She seems relaxed, her ears are floppy like, she’s chillin.”

“Great, pick up her leash and ask if she wants a walk.” He instructed her, she could hear the street passing as he drove, knowing he was on the way helped her relax even more. Felicity picked up the leash, and in her happy voice asked

“Wanna take a walk?”

“OK, so THAT we have to work on.” She heard Roy mumble in the background. But Sara got up and came over, wiggling her whole body, and Felicity was able to hook the leash and head outside, hoping Roy would be waiting for her.

_September 8, 2014_

“What do you mean its confidential?” Oliver asked the “representative” of the dog adoption agency. “I am sorry sir, but I can’t give you the information about who adopted Sara.” He heard the hesitation in the woman’s voice, “ I really am sorry but we have a confidentiality agreement. We can’t give out contact information.”

“But she was my dog. I want her back. She saved my life, please.” He hated begging. But at this point he was desperate. His mother’s contacts had been able to track down the agency that had placed Sara, but again he hit a dead end.

“I understand sir, and I am so sorry. We do try to get retired dogs to a former handler, but in this case, at the time you weren’t available. We felt she need to be out of the kennel and into a home, and it’s been 3 months.”

“But she was my dog” Oliver was having a hard time digesting the fact that the woman would not help him contact and get Sara back. “Is there any way you can pass my information to her new owner and ask that he contact me?” he threw that out hoping for a hail mary.

“Yes sir, I can do that. It may take a few weeks to get to the new owner, and if they want to contact you its their choice, they may not want to.”

“I understand, but please, I have to try, please” he felt his mothers hand on his shoulder, 1 month ago he would have frozen and reacted but after therapy 4x a week, he was learning to rein in his instincts. He still wanted to react. But he was getting better. Oliver hung up the phone and turned to his mother. She wrapped her arm around him.

“Give it time son, if it was meant to be, you will get her back.” He nodded in agreement, even if he was not sure she was right. “When does your friend arrive?” her question knocked him out of his self reflection, he looked at his watch and realized that Digg would be here any second. Oliver jumped up and headed towards the door.

“He is supposed to be here at noon, so in like 10 minutes.” He told his mother. Digg had been released from the rehab facility, after having been fitted with a prosthetic leg and going through a month of PT, Digg was coming to Starling City.

_October 6, 2014_

It had been a crazy month for Felicity and Sara. After the “storm incident” as Felicity had taken to call it, she and Sara had made great progress. Felicity was learning to channel her inner confidence, and Sara was responding. Once they had made it out of her house that morning, Roy had been waiting for them. His smile made her relax even more.

“Awesome! Now lets walk.” The two of them walked the streets of Starling city. Roy having Felicity get Sara to “sit” whenever she stopped, not allowing her to sniff whenever she wanted, keeping a good strong pace the whole walk. Felicity had always allowed Sara to do whatever she wanted on a walk, it was HER walk, so she allowed anything. Roy explained to her that a walk was more than that. It was a way to form a bond with her new dog, but with a dog like Sara, she needed more direction than the average dog.

So since that morning, Felicity had been picking up the pace, getting Sara to walk nicely next to her, but still allowing her moments to sniff. It was a give and take, and it was working. At home, Sara started spending more time out of the crate. Following Felicity from room to room, she had become her shadow. Roy suggested some fun games to play in the house. Mainly “search” games. Felicity would direct Sara into her crate and close the door, show the toy and then hide it. Once hidden, she would let Sara out of the crate and watch as she tore around the house looking for her toy. The third time she played the game, Sara brought the toy directly to Felicity and shoved it hard into her stomach. Felicity nearly cried with joy. And did shed a tear when she asked her to “out” and Sara dropped the toy on the ground and backed up a few steps. They were finally bonding.

Roy explained that this was not a breed that was cuddly, so he told Felicity to give up hope of cuddling, but they were loyal. And Felicity was coming to terms with what was in front of her; or more frequently, under her desk as she worked on her computer stuff at home. Based on Sara’s work in the military, Roy suggested she sign Sara up for Noseworks. Which was scent detection for civilians. The dogs are taught to find specific legal oils and then can compete against other dog/handler teams. Based on how much she loved the search games, Felicity signed up right away for the next class. The class did not start until the middle of October, so Felicity spent that time working on the basics with her new best friend.

It sounded trite, but the dog really was her best friend. Whenever Felicity talked, the dog stared at her like she was the most interesting person in the world. She started relaxing around her, stopped being shut in.

Felicity was at work when the dark clouds crept over the city. The entire department had been on edge the whole day, the prodigal son, Oliver Queen, was making the rounds at Queen Consolidated that day. And everyone knew he was being primed to take over. From what she had heard in the office, he was aloof, but gorgeous. The sky outside the office had gotten darker by the minute, and Felicity could only think about her dog at home. Terrified and alone. She had just gotten up to go tell her boss that she needed to get home when the door to her department opened up and, what can only be called a gaggle, of people walked through. Felicity immediately recognized Walter Steele, acting CEO and a young man, not too much older than her, that she assumed was Oliver Queen.

She saw them walk into her Josh Arronsen, her bosses, office. They emerged a few minutes later and she saw Oliver Queen looking around at her coworkers.

“Felicity” she heard the recognizable accent of the Walter Steele call out to her. “Felicity, come here, I want you to meet someone.” The man she had assumed was Oliver Queen stepped forward. Felicity greeted them and turned to Oliver.

"Hello, Mr. Queen, its nice to meet you.”

“Felicity is one of our brightest new recruits, Magna Cum Laude from MIT, doing wonders with our security.” Mr. Steele introduced her.

“Thank you sir, I try. I am very sorry, but I have to leave.” She rushed out, “ It’s about to storm and my new dog is scared of storms, she cant be alone, though she most likely wont want me there, but I have to go.” She turned to walk away when she heard Olivers voice.

“Distract her.”

“Huh?” was all she could get out as she gathered her purse and shut down her computer.

“Distract her.” He said again, “My dog, while in country would sometimes get antsy when she could hear explosions or loud noises. Never failed when I brought out her ball and made her think about something else. Does your dog like balls?” his eyes were downcast.

"Yeah, she loves balls. Not balls balls, just balls, like on a sting.” Her mouth got away from her and she was sure her embarrassment overruled her desire to get home. “Sorry about that, yes, she has a favorite toy. But she gets really tense and even growls at me during storms” she finally answered.

“Redirect her, if she loves her toy, use it to make her think of something else.”

“Thanks, I’ll try that.” She replied and grabbed her purse and scurried out of the office.

Felicity made it home as the storm broke. Thunder rolled through the air and lightening lit up the sky. The rain had not started but she knew it was coming. Felicity had no idea what to expect when she walked in the door, but being mugged by her dog was not it. Sara leapt into her arms then laid down shaking when a roll of thunder came through. Felicity went to pet her, but remembered the last time and straightened up. Hearing Roy's words in her head “be in control, be confident” and Oliver’s advice “ use a toy to distract her” she formulated a plan.

Felicity walked over to the toy basket and pulled out a ball on a string. She swung it a few times, and noticed that Sara’s eyes were on it.

"Sara, Sit!” she said with all the force she could manage. She waited as her dog looked at her blankly, then slowly tilted her head, and finally “sat”

“Good girl!” and she threw the toy lightly cross the room. Sara ran after it and brought it right back. 'Holy Frijoles, it worked.'

For then next 20 minutes, while the storm raged, Felicity did basic obedience and search games with Sara, who stayed engaged the entire time. The only time she would falter was after a big bang of thunder, but it was only briefly. It was once the storm finally passed, Felicity was curled on her couch and Sara was in her crate, half hanging out, but in her crate, that she finally noticed the light blinking on her home answering machine. Felicity got up and pressed “play”.

“Hello Felicity, this is Nyssa, from the Warrior Dog Foundation. I hope all is well, and we like to think that no news is good news, which actually, makes me feel bad for calling. Can you please call me back at your earliest convenience. It’s about Sara. Thank you.” Dred filled her heart and sank low in her stomach, this could not be good. She had gotten a few follow up calls, but this was different. Felicity hit “erase” and tried to pretend that she had never heard the message.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On this Memorial Day weekend, I want to thank all those that served and their families for their sacrifice. We are forever in their debt.

 

_**October 6, 2014** _

Digg had settled into the Queen Mansion like he had been there his whole life. Moira was actually thrilled to have one of Oliver’s friends staying with them. Oliver often found the two of them chatting on the living room couch, or just watching TV together, and Thea; well Thea had taken to Digg like he was a second brother. It was an amazing feeling having his “family” all together, but he could not help feeling like something was missing, and that was Sara. Oliver knew he had a long way to go before he was truly ready to have his partner home, but he was still waiting. The agency had said that it could take a few weeks for her new owner to receive the message and contact him; if they decided to contact him at all. The waiting was killing him. But he tried to focus on other things. He had been seeing a counselor. Trying to get control back of his life. His anger had dissipated a bit, but it was a struggle. He found himself tense up at totally normal situations, a car backfiring, a screaming toddler, someone bumping into him on the street. But he was making progress.

Today, Oliver was going in to Queen Consolidated for the first time since before he left for the Army. His father had always wanted him to take over the family business, but Oliver had never really wanted that life. He saw the way it nearly destroyed his parents marriage, how it kept his father away from him and his sister due to traveling, and how it had ultimately taken his life when he was killed in a small plane crash, getting from one remote sight of the company to another.

But, now that he was home, discharged from the Army, he thought that it may be a way to reconnect with his father. He had contacted the acting CEO and asked for a tour. Technically, his family still had controlling interest in the company, and had appointed Walter to act on their behalf. But if Oliver wanted to, he could take over. It would take the approval of the board, but that was just a formality.

Oliver walked into the lobby of the QC building and was immediately inundated with memories from when he was a child, coming here with his mom to see his dad, if only for a few minutes. His dad had always been so busy that the visits lasted maybe 5 minutes before his assistant interrupted. But they were good memories, now. At the time he had always been upset and disappointed that his father could not spare the time, but now that he was older, he could remember the look of disappointment on his fathers face when they had to leave. Now, he could look back and realize that it had been a sacrifice on all sides. Yes, his father could have tried harder, yes, his father made mistakes. But he worked hard, he loved them and Oliver never appreciated that until now.

“Mr. Queen” the voice broke through his thoughts and Oliver turned to greet Walter.

“Mr. Queen was my father. Call me Oliver.” He smiled at the man in front of him and shook his hand.

“Ok, Oliver, you ready to see your company?” Oliver nodded and the two men moved further into the building. Oliver was hyper aware of the people that stopped to watch him. He knew he was a bit of the “prodigal son” and his injury in country had made him a bit of a “home town hero” to boot. He did his best to ignore the stares, but returned smiles if they were given.

Two hours later and they had reached the lower level and entered the IT department. Liver was exhausted and found his nerves wearing thin. The tension bubbled inside of him and he fought for control. Walter led him to an office in the back, the name on the door read “Josh Arronsen IT Manager”.

“Josh, I would like you to meet Oliver Queen. Oliver this is Josh Arronsen. Josh heads up and keeps on track the amazing folks in the IT Department, without them we would all be flying blind daily!”

“Its nice to meet you Mr. Queen.” Oliver nearly corrected him, but thought better of it. Fight the battles worth fighting, he thought to himself as he gave the man a small smile.

“Likewise.” Oliver was very much out of his element but tried to keep the conversation going, “So any new and exciting projects being worked on down here?” He asked. Tech had never been his thing. Aside from Skypeing with his sister while deployed and failing miserably to keep up with a Facebook page and check his emails, Oliver never really paid too much attention to the tech world.

“Down here, no” the man answered, “here is just basic support for the company, setting up and maintaining the security of the firm, creating our presence online, managing the multitude of databases, just basic grunt work.”

“I wouldn’t say that Josh”, Walter interjected, “We have hired some of the brightest minds in the industry to help bring and keep QC in this century. The team we have here have stopped numerous cyber hacking attempts, developed and implemented state of the art security measures, and yes even managed to set up my projector for a meeting yesterday when I couldn’t figure it out.” Walter smiled, it was obvious he was proud of the department.

Oliver looked around at the men and women tapping away on their keyboards, each with looks of total concentration on their faces.

“Felicity” he heard Walter call out. “Felicity, come here, I want you to meet someone.” Oliver stepped forward, no doubt in his mind that he was that someone. The woman before him, was beautiful, blonde, trim and fit. Oliver was surprised to see someone such as her down here in the IT department. But he scolded himelf internally. If Walter said tey hied the brightest minds, than this woman must be exceptional at what she does, he hated that he immediately reduced her to a “pretty face”.

Felicity greeted them and turned to Oliver. Her blue eyes shone bright, but he could tell she was anxious, probably because of him.

‘Hello, Mr. Queen, its nice to meet you.” Her voice was polite, but distracted.

“Felicity is one of our brightest new recruits. Magna Cum Laude from MIT, doing wonders with our security.” Mr. Steele introduced her, his affection for the young woman obvious in his tone.

“Thank you sir, I try.” Her head tilted quick and a look of concentration crossed her face, like she was trying to hear something in the distance. “I am very sorry but I have to leave.” She rushed out, “ its about to storm and my new dog is scared of storms, she can’t be alone. Though she most likely wont want me there, but I have to go.” She excused herself and turned to walk away when Oliver spoke up.

“Distract her.”

“Huh?” she answered, already halfway out the door, her keys in hand and purse over her shoulder.

“Distract her. My dog would sometimes get antsy when she could hear explosions or loud noises. Never failed when I brought out her ball and made her think about something else. Does your dog like balls?” he couldn’t bring himself to look at her, he was unsure why, he wanted to help her, but if he was honest he wanted to impress her more. There was something about her that drew him in. Just admitting that fact made him uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, she loves balls. Not balls balls, just balls, like on a sting.” He couldn’t help but smile at her mini ramble. It was adorable and refreshing. “Sorry ‘bout that, yes, she has a favorite toy. But she gets really tense and even growls at me during storms” she finally answered. He could tell that she was worried about her dog, and embarrassed to admit the issue to a near stranger.

Oliver took a deep breath and tried to remember what Sara was like when she got nervous, which was not too often,

“Redirect her, if she loves her toy, use it to make her think of something else.”

“Thanks, I’ll try that.” She replied over her shoulder as she scurried out of the office.

Oliver watched her leave, anxious to get to her dog, and his emptiness at not having or knowing where Sara was ripped a line in his chest. The low rumble of thunder in the distance…

**_February 2014_ **

_“It’s ok Sara, it’s not close.” His dog paced at the end of his bunk, unable to settle, the sound of explosions in the distance thunder-like in their intensity. He stroked her copper hair and she stopped for a minute, then tried to climb in his bunk. He moved over to let her in but a voice stopped him._

_“Don’t do it man” the voice of his friend Diggle coming from the front of their quarters._

_“She’s scared” he answered as if it was obvious._

_“Yup, but if you pander to it, you are petty much telling her and in actuality rewarding her for it. She is going to end up getting affection because she’s scared. Positive reinforcement.”_

_Oliver pushed Sara out of his lap and sat up. “So what do I do? I can’t have her pacing all night.”_

_“She has to learn to deal with it. Instead of rewarding her, take her mind off it.” Oliver watched his friend as he sat down on his bunk and took his boots off. He knew Digg had handled a dog in the past, and he trusted him._

_“So what should I do?”_

_“See if you can redirect her, take her out and play ball or something, if she wont do that, then do some obedience or something.”_

_Oliver got out of his bed and grabbed Sara’s reward ball and headed with her outside. She was still nervous, not truly engaging, and each mortar shell exploding made her shiver a bit. He twirled the ball around and pushed her back from him, using his ‘lets play’ pose and threw the ball. On instinct alone she ran after the ball and brought it back. Oliver watched as he shoved it into his stomach and demanded he throw it again. So he did._

“Oliver” he heard Walters voice and was snapped back to the present. He turned his head toward the man and reengaged into the conversation.

“Mr. Arronsen was just telling about the applied sciences division that is in the beginning stages of development right now. Its quite exciting, utilizing some of the great minds we have here to develop new technology.” Oliver turned towards Josh allowing him to respond.

“Oh yes it’s very exciting. Ms. Smoak has agreed to head up the project.”

“Excellent” he heard Walter respond.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Smoak?” Oliver realized he had missed an important part of the conversation.

“Felicity, sir.” They both gave him quizzical looks. Felicity.

“Actually Mr Arronsen, that does sound very interesting, I would love to be a bit more involved in that. Perhaps I could be of use?”

“Yes, Mr. Queen, that would be wonderful. I will Have Ms. Smoak contact you about the plans.”

_**October 14, 2014** _

It had been a week since that day at QC. Oliver had been diligently going to therapy, and working with Walter to try to understand the business a bit better. He was learning the books, the business model, taking stock of the subsidieries, just basically learning the ins and out of the company. Oliver was overwhelmed. Even with the therapy, he was finding that his anger was nearly always on the verge of pushing forward, taking control, it was a daily struggle.

Oliver finally left QC headquarters after 11 hours and pulled out his cell phone, having been in his suit jacket all day. Oliver had figured if it was important, they could get a hold of him through his mom, or at the office. He saw that he had a few voicemails, one from his sister, one from Digg, and one from an unknown number. He listened to the message from his sister, asking when he would be home and if they could do a movie night, and the one from Digg, saying he and Thea were in the entertainment room watching Iron Man, and telling him to join them when he got home. He finally listened to unknown number, usually he would just delete an unknown number, but with the possibility that Sara’s new owner would be contacting him, he decided to listen.

“Hello Mr. Queen. My name is Nyssa. I am the adoption coordinator for the Warrior Dog Foundation. I apologize for the delay in my response to your request. I was out of the country. I have contacted Sara’s current owner and they are very happy to hear that you are okay, but not ready to contact you directly. Please understand that Sara is in a loving home and is being well cared for. While Sara’s new owner is not interested at this time in making contact directly, they did ask if they could send pictures and write you a letter documenting her progress. If this is ok with you I will act as an intermediary so that both parties can remain anonymous. Please call me back so that I can let them know. Thank you for your service and please trust me when I say Sara is safe and in a good place.”

Oliver listened to the message three more times as he made his way to his car. He was thrilled that the new owner had finally responded, but upset that they wanted to stay anonymous. He tried, he really did, to understand their side, but he could not understand how someone would keep his dog from him.

Oliver had no idea how he got home, but he opened the front door and could hear the light laughing of his sister and best friend as they watched their movie. He made his way upstairs to his bedroom to try to gather his thoughts and get his emotions under control. He walked into his room, looking around at the familiar surroundings. But nothing felt right, nothing felt like it was his. He heard his phone beep, telling him he had a message. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw a text from Digg. Asking if he was going come down for the rest of the movie. Oliver snapped. He could not be what everyone was wanting; he couldn’t live up to everyone’s expectations, he just needed a damn minute.

“Oliver” Digg called, “Oliver”, finally he realized Digg was talking to him. He looked around, spotting his best friend and his sister in the doorway of is room. It was then that he noticed the mess. His laptop was on the floor, pictures that had been on his desk were scattered and broken around his room. He saw his cell phone in pieces at his feet, having no memory of destroying it. Oliver collapsed into himself, unable to even grasp what was happening to him, wrapping his arms around his knees he leaned against the nearest wall for support, crying for the first time in years.

_**October 10, 2014** _

Felicity must have dialed Nyssa’s number 10 times and hung up, like a 13yo calling her crush. She just could not bring herself to finish the call. When she got home from work before the last storm, Sara had already been worked up, panting, pacing, growling. Felicity took what Mr. Queen had said to heart, and pulled out Sara’s favorite toy. The change in the dog was nearly immediate. The two of them played through the storm. Yes, Sara still cringed at loud thunder, but Felicity kept her engaged and focused. And afterwards, Sara was the dog she had always wanted. It was like they had finally broke through some barrier and she was finally trusted by this amazing animal.

And now, she had that horrible gut feeling that she was going to lose her. She had no idea why, but the tone in Nyssa’s voice, had filled her with foreboding. Felicity pretended like she never heard the message, or she tried to, but in the end she couldn’t. In the end, she knew it would be wrong to ignore it, so after 4 days she called Nyssa back.

“Hello, this is Nyssa, how can I help you?”

“Hello Nyssa, this is Felicity Smoak. I got your message” she left it there, waiting for Nyssa’s response.

“Felicity, hello. I am so sorry for the cryptic message. I was out of the country for a while visiting my father and got back to the office and well, it was a mess.” Nyssa paused and Felicity was unsure if she should interject something, but Nyssa trudged on. “So, we got contacted by a former handler of Sara. In fact, he was the handler that she was deployed with when she was injured. They served 7.5 months together. He was injured as well in the explosion that injured her. He wants her back.”

“But she’s mine” was the first thing out of Felicities mouth.

“Yes, legally she is yours. We complied with all regulations in regards to contacting former handlers or local police forces that may utilize her and she was not a candidate for them nor could any of her handlers take her.”

“So I don’t understand” Felicity was confused, but she also knew what was right and she was terrified.

“This handler has expressed a desire to adopt her. He was not capable when the initial inquiries went out, and we did speak directly to the family, but he has recovered from his injuries and very much wants Sara to be a part of his life again. My staff let him know that the ball was in your court. She is your dog.” Nyssa went silent again and Felicity was at a loss for words, which was unusual.

“He should, I mean, that’s right, he should, but she’s mine, I love her, we finally bonded, she’s my dog, I don’t know, it’s the right thing but I can’t lose her” Felicity rambled, her head and her heart warring with each other.

“Felicity, look I know it’s a bad spot, and I am so sorry. We really do our best to make sure this doesn’t happen. But people and circumstances change.” Nyssa took a breath and continued on “don’t decide anything tonight, take a few days and think about it. Ok?”

“Ok” Felicity hung up the phone and sank down on her couch. Sara jumped up next to her and dropped a Cuz in her lap, when Felicity did not immediately pick it up, Sara grabbed it and squeezed AWWWWEEEEEE!!!!! The noise jolted Felicity out of her daze and she looked her best friend.

“I can’t let you go, I just can’t, but I can’t let him not know about you.” Felicity said to her dog, whose head tilt at her words said she understood this was important. She grabbed her phone and called Nyssa back.

“Nyssa, Hi, It’s Felicity Smoak again. Sorry about before, I was just in shock. I am not saying I am not open to a reunion, but maybe we could take it slow? I would love to send him some pictures and a letter about her? Could we start there?”

“Of course, I think that’s a great idea.”

Felicity pulled out her laptop and started going through the multitude of pictures she had taken, trying to chose the perfect ones, to let her former handler know that Sara was safe and happy, then she started writing a letter

**Dear Sir,**

**I am not really sure how to start this letter, except to say I am glad it finds you well. I can’t thank you enough for your service and your sacrifice.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. Life kind of got away from me and then I realized I had messed up the time line and had to rework this chapter and the next chapter.
> 
> As always, thanks to those that are reading and enjoying my story!! I have no beta so all mistakes are my own.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Life got away from me for a week or so! Thanks again to everyone who is supporting this story. it makes it so much fun to write!

_October 20, 2014_

**Dear Sir,**

**I am not really sure how to start this letter, except to say I am glad it finds you well. I can’t thank you enough for your service and your sacrifice**.

**So, as I am sure you are aware, I adopted your former partner Sara. I have never owned a dog before, and to this day I can’t believe that they approved me. I feel like I am the luckiest person on the planet, because she is amazing. Not at first. At first, well we had “issues” but that’s another letter all together. She has finally settled and I think she is beginning to really trust me. I get the impression that trust is hard for her, so I feel grateful that she has given it to me.**

**We walk together every day almost 6 miles. It’s getting me in shape and gives her a chance to sniff and be a dog. At home, we play fun “search” games with her toys and she lays at my feet while I watch TV or surf the internet.**

**We have been working with a wonderful trainer who has helped me understand her a bit better and allowed me to work within her comfort zone. Which, at the moment is half on my lap, half on the couch. She knows she is not allowed, but then again I am a softie, so I cave probably more than I should.**

**I have sent along some pictures of her, on our forays into the world.**

**I really just want you to know that she is loved. I love her with all my heart. I never understood the bond that people had with pets, until Sara. And I can’t imagine your grief at not having her in your life. I am sorry to be a part of that pain. I am not saying that you can never see her, just that I need some time, I hope you understand. And I just want you to now that she is safe, in a good home (if I am being bold), and nothing bad will ever happen to her.**

**Thank you for keeping her safe.**

Oliver laid the letter down and picked up the multitude of pictures that had been sent. Sara at the beach, Sara in the woods, on the couch, pawing at the refrigerator, peeking out of crate, on her back in bed, belly in full view, pictures of her happy. Once again Oliver felt tears sting his eyes and escape his lids. His girl was happy, it was so obvious in the pictures. Who was he to take a good home away from her? She deserved a great, stress free life. She had that in her new home.

Oliver felt selfish for still wanting her back. Could he provide her the same home this person had given her? He thought he could, but his insecurity crept in. He was a mess and knew it. Sara deserved stable, and this person, whoever they were, could provide that. He wishes he cold just see her one more time. Thank her, throw her ball, just chill with her laying at his feet.

Oliver picked up the type written letter and then the envelope. There was no distinguishing postmark, it looks as if it was sent through the adoption agency, all in the name of anonymity. Oliver walked to his desk and powered up his laptop. He wanted to keep the line of communication open.

 **Dear sir/ma’am** ,

**Thank you for deciding to write to me. I can’t tell you what it means to get pictures of my girl, who is obviously very happy with you. She was a guiding light for me through my final 7 1/2 months in service. We were together nonstop. She was my best friend, and now she is yours, and I think I may be okay with that.**

**The last time I saw Sara, was on patrol. As you may have guessed, it did not end well. I woke up in Germany a week later, thinking she and the other soldiers in my unit had all died. It wasn’t until recently that I found out I had been wrong. I have never been so happy to be wrong in my life. But by the time I located Sara, she was already settled with you.**

**I want her back. I am not going to lie. But I want you to know that I am not going to pressure you. I understand that you love her and are giving her a great home, and for that I will be forever grateful.**

**If you are willing, could we maybe continue to send letters? I would love to hear about her as she settles even more. And I would love to see pictures.**

**Thank you for giving my broken girl a wonderful home. She deserves a chance to be loved to have a good home that accepts her for what she is, and loves her through it.**

**If it’s easier, you can email me, we could cut out the middle man. If not, I understand, but just in case my personal email is grnairo5@gmail.com.**

**Thanks again**.

**PS- don’t be too much of a softy on her. If you give her an inch she will take a mile. I let her in my bed for a while, until the night she growled at me when I tried to move her. She can be bitchy about things she decides are “hers”, so don’t let her claim anything you may eventually want back. She gives them up fairly easily, but she will make you take them back. Don’t let her scare you, she is mostly bark. But if she sees an in, she will take advantage.**

Oliver hit “PRINT” and heard his printer start working. He sat there staring at his computer for a while. His mind a blank. He had answers finally, and even a bit of closure. He knew his dog was safe. In the end, he figured that’s all he could ask for. He still wanted more, but he would take what he could get right now.

He was going to focus on himself. It was time to start actively moving forward, not just going through the motions, pretending he was interested. If he ever had any hope that he would get Sara back, or heck even get his life back, then he had to work at it. Prove to himself that he could handle what life was throwing him. He stood up and grabbed the letter, finding an envelope, he addressed it back to the adoption agency, and headed downstairs. He could hear his sister and Digg chatting and laughing, It was their weekly movie night, tonight was Captain America, and headed in their direction. This would be a good place to start.

 _October 25, 201_ 4

Oliver sat at his desk, pouring over financials, trying to make heads or tails of the jumble of numbers. Math had never been his strong suit, if he was honest, nothing except being a soldier had been his strong suit. He had never been a good student, he tried, for his father, but nothing ever fit. And now, here he sat, trying to do the work of someone way smarter than him, and failing miserably. His hand swept up to grab his neck and hit his coffee cup instead, spilling the luke warm beverage all over his keyboard.

“Shit!” he tried unsuccessfully to wipe the fluid off his laptop keyboard, but the screen shut off. “shit shit shit shit shit” Oliver left his office, laptop in hand and found his assistant not at her desk. He turned and went to Walter’s office.

“Oliver, come in”

“Hey Walter. I just spilled my coffee on my laptop.”

Walter actually let out a chuckle, and Oliver cracked a small smile as well. “I cannot tell you how many times I have done that. Take it down to Felicity in IT, she has fixed many an abused laptop.”

Felicity. Oliver perked at the name. He remembered the beautiful blonde he had met a few weeks ago on his tour of the company. He felt his heart jump a bit at the thought of seeing her again and was surprised. It had been a long time since a woman had made he feel anything at all, he was actually a bit embarrassed. But he nodded his head and turned toward the elevator.

“Oliver, make sure to ask her about the plans for the Applied Sciences building. It would be good for you to see what she has been working on.” Oliver nodded, walked out of the office and made his way to the elevator and then down to the IT department.

When he arrived it was a bustle of activity. People shouting across the “pod”; bodies moving every which way. Had he not been in an actual war, he would have thought he just entered one. A man scurried past him and Oliver caught his attention.

“What’s going on?” he asked the frazzled employee. The man looked as if he was about to snap at Oliver, then realized who was asking the question and immediately deflated.

“Someone is actively trying to break through the firewall. Ms. Smoak caught it, but its all hands on deck right now.” He answered and then moved past and got back to work. Oliver moved cautiously through the throngs of people towards Felicities work area. He saw her there, glasses pushed up close to her face, hair frazzled and partially out of its ponytail, lipstick bitten of by her teeth, worrying her lip. Around her were half a dozen IT staffers. Some he saw just watching what was happening, and a few brave souls trying to advise her on what to do next. Her head was down, the look of concentration on her face caused her brow to furrow, adorably if he was being honest with himself. He leaned against the nearest wall and just watched it unfold.

“Felicity have you blah blah blah blahed?” a coworker asked. Oliver was sure he said actually said words, but he could not understand them, but maybe DNS and IP trace?

“Of course I ran a trace, but its being routed through multiple international firewalls.” he heard her answer in a bit of a loud voice. He saw the employee wilt under her admonishment. Oliver felt the smile taking control of his face before he could stop it. He always loved a woman in charge.

“Back off everyone, I’ve got this. Jackson, I need you to update the accounting firewall, Smalls, get ready to terminate the power if I say so, we can’t let this guy in, BUT DON’T DO IT UNTIL I SAY SO” Ok so that was an actual loud voice. Oliver watched as she continued to hand out orders to the staff that he could never hope to understand.

“Everyone else, get out, I can’t think with you hanging over my shoulder.” Her command was all encompassing and before he could blink her office was empty, except for him.

“I said, get out.” Her voice was softer, and he saw when she finally realized it was him standing there. She faltered for a second in what she was doing.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry Mr. Queen, I thought you were” she started to stand up.

“Stop Felicity, its fine, finish what you are doing, it’s way more important than what I need.”

“Then why are you still sanding there?” she asked and he smiled as her entire face turned a not unattractive shade of beet. “Sorry, so sorry, just give me a minute, I almost have this guy.” She averted her eyes and started back on stopping the apparent hacker attack.

5 minutes later and she was successful, or at least Oliver assumed she was successful, based on her rapid fist pumping and the shouts of joy he heard in the pod behind them. “Got you.” And with one final key stroke she leaned back in her chair and let out a huge sigh. Her sights finally focused on him.

“So what can I help you with?” she was so calm and collected, he found himself in awe.

“You are remarkable.” Was what came out of his mouth, he could feel the heat in his face, and it only got worse when he acknowledged it, he was blushing.

“Thank you for remarking on it.” She grinned back at him and he felt at ease, for the first time in a long time.

“So what was that?” he gestured to her desk.

“Nothing much, just a run of the mill hacker trying to penetrate our system. But don’t worry, I got it, or actually my team got it. A few keystrokes being too slow and we knew what was happening. It’s all under control. They wont be bothering us again.” Her self satisfied grin was infectious.

‘Do I want to know why or how?” he asked.

“Nope” she said, popping her “p” and he laughed out loud, a true laugh. And it felt amazing. She was looking up at him and he was mesmerized by her eyes. He finally broke the contact and shoved his laptop out to her.

“I spilled my coffee on it, I think its dead.” He said sheephishly.

“Oh no,” she reached out and took the laptop from his hands, immediately trying to boot it up with no success. “Did you save your work to the server?” he gave her a blank look, embarrassed that he had no idea what she was talking about.

“I don’t know, I opened links people sent, then when I was done I hit “save”. He answered, hating that he was feeling stupid in front of a woman that he really wanted to impress. Wait, why did he want to impress her? His mind started moving in a direction and he was having a hard time getting it back. He felt his hands get clammy and his heart pick up pace. He knew a panic attack was imminent and needed to get out of her office.

“Ok, hopefully they were linked to the server. I will see what I can do.” Felicity answered. Oliver had inched himself out of her office, trying to catch his breath and settle down.

“Great, let me know” he turned fully and was about a foot from her door when he heard her call out to him.

‘Thanks by the way. Your suggestion about distracting my dog worked, she did great.” Oliver turned back to her, his heart rate slowing as he switched to “dog head”.

“Great. Glad I could help. My girl could sometimes be a bit wonky with loud noises, it always helped her.”

Felicity tilted her head and studied him for a moment. “How many dogs did you handle while you were there?” she asked.

“Two,” he said finally. “Jimminy, a lab for my first tour, and then Sara during my second tour. She was a Mal, I worked her for nearly 8 months, until my injury.”

“Sara?” Oliver heard a pause in Felicities voice and realized she was probably just asking to be polite. But he wanted to talk about her and to her.

“Yeah. Great dog, had been through plenty of handlers, was a bit of a mess, but amazing.”

‘What happened to her?” Felicity asked, her head was down and the question was nearly lost into her desk.

“She got sent back to the states before me and adopted out to a civilian. It happened before I was even aware she made it out.” He answered. It felt good to let it out. Even if it was to a near stranger.

“I’m so sorry. Can’t you get her back, would you want to?”

“Yeah, I would love to have her with me. But I know she is in a good home, I got some great pictures. She is better off away from me right now. I am still a mess. But I miss her.” Saying it made it real, Oliver could feel the tears the welling up in his eyes and fought to hold them back.

He looked at Felicity, who seemed to be struggling with something to say, and he felt bad for unloading anything on one of his employees.

“So how long until I get my laptop back?” he tried to change the subject, and saw Felicity struggle, or so it seemed, to do the same.

“Give me a few days and I will see what I can do.” Her voice was soft, and he had to lean in to hear it.

“Great, just let me know” and he finally walked out of her office. He could not bring himself to go back to his own office so made his way to the main floor and out of the building, deciding to take a walk around downtown Starling City and clear his head.

Felicity watched him leave and dropped her head on her desk. It had happened, her world had just come crashing down and she had no idea where to go or what to do. She gathered her stuff and Oliver’s laptop and left the office for the day. She need to process.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for my late updates. Life has been a bit crazy. But I promise to keep going and finish this story.
> 
> I want to send out a special thanks to those that have been consistantly reviewing this story. Your engagenment means the world to me. KeBarrett( you rock),Mel_Sanfo, fanoffic, Jelimonster, JLL, lililovingreading, morrigan_2575,Flatbrokecrystal,H,Londonparisz,AerynSun75, and Anned. Thank you. I have not replied to each review, but i have them all.
> 
> THANK YOU!

Chapter 7

_**October 26, 2014** _

Felicity called in sick. She never called in sick. She would rather work through the pain and ill, than saddle her coworkers with added responsibility, that and she did not trust anyone to be able to do her job. And she hated leaving things undone.

But this morning she called in sick.

She was unsure what to do, and was near to being distraught about the situation she found herself in. It pained her to think of herself in any manner but that of total control. She hated feeling the victim. But in this situation, she really felt like one. Her boss was her new dogs previous handler, and he wanted her back. To normal people, this would not be a big deal. To Felicity, her world imploded. Oliver Queen wanted her dog. Her dog. Sara was hers; they had a bond. But she was Oliver’s dog first, he should get her back. Right?

Felicity pulled the pink and yellow checked duvet over her head and allowed a few tears to fall on her pillow. She didn’t want to wallow in the melodrama, but she finally allowed herself to get lost, for just a moment and feel it. She knew, in her heart that she should tell Mr. Queen that she had Sara, but she just couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to give up Sara, and telling him would mean she would lose what had become an important part of her life. She could hear her mother in her ear. She could feel the disapproval that was surely directed at her, even from states away. The weight of the right choice sat on her chest, causing her thought to be in a constant state of constricted discomfort.

She was “just a dog” to most people, and yes she could find a new dog. She knew all of this in her head, but her heart was broken. So she called in sick. She could not bear to see Oliver, to lie to him, when she was so raw about the knowledge she now had. Felicity was a horrible liar, had always been. She needed to give herself time to believe the lie, or she would never be able to sell it to anyone else.

It didn’t help that she was ridiculously attracted to him. Seriously, who wouldn’t be? He was perfection. She knew her propensity to babble when uncomfortable would be the death of her with Oliver Queen. Luckily, she had been so preoccupied during their last encounters that it had not yet happened. But, with the fact that she was hiding things from him, and that her cheeks got all flushed just sitting on her couch thinking of him, it was bound to be a disaster when it did happen. It wasn’t just his amazing body. He was a good person, who had proven to be a strong man, and she was knowingly deceiving him. Because of her, he was hurting and she had the ability to stop that.

She felt the weight of her new friend as Sara jumped on the bed. The covers moved a bit as Sara plopped down next to her. Felicity pulled her head out of the literal and figurative covers and looked at her dog. Sara looked her in the eye and cocked her head.

“You gotta go out?” Felicity asked.

She got her answer when her pup jumped off the bed and started circling in a nearly obsessive manner.

“ Ok, ok, hang on, let me put some pants on.” Felicity spoke to her like she would understand, and it seemed she did, because Sara stopped circling and ran out of the room, ostensibly to the front door, to wait for Felicity.

Felicity got out of bed and threw on some sweat pants and headed to meet her dog at the door. Her hair was mess, so she grabbed a holder from the counter in the kitchen and pulled her hair back in to a ponytail, grabbed the leash that was lying on the counter and attached it to Sara. The two headed out to greet the world.

When they returned home, Felicity checked her mailbox and found a letter from the Foundation. Her heart dropped and she fought the desire to crawl right back into bed and pull the covers over her head and hide. But she heard her mother's voice in her mind telling her to buck it up, that no problem was ever solved by hiding from it. So she took a deep breath and walked up the steps and into her house. She unleashed Sara, who immediately found a bone, jumped on the couch and settled in for a lazy day at home. Felicity looked at the letter and debated opening it. Now that she knew whom it was from and what that entailed, she ended up just staring at it for a while.

**Dear sir/ma’am,**

**Thank you for giving my broken girl a wonderful home. She deserves a chance to be loved to have a good home that accepts her for what she is, and loves her through it.**

I **f it’s easier, you can email me, we could cut out the middleman. If not, I understand, but just in case my personal email is grnairo5@gmail.com.**

**Thanks again.**

**PS- don’t be too much of a softy on her. If you give her an inch, she will take a mile. I let her in my bed for a while, until the night she growled at me when I tried to move her. She can be bitchy about things she decides are “hers”, so don’t let her claim anything you may eventually want back. She gives them up fairly easily, but she will make you take them back. Don’t let her scare you, she is mostly bark. But if she sees an in, she will take advantage.**

Felicity read the note over and over gain. Then she looked out of the corner of her to see Sara still curled on the couch, still chewing a bone. She got her big girl voice on,

“Sara OFF” she said forcefully, and was rewarded with not even an ear twitch in acknowledgment. Felicity thought back to what Roy had taught her and stood up and again gave Sara the “off “ command. This time she got a look, a head tilt and lifted lip. Sara just growled at her. Felicity was shocked and taken back to that first thunderstorm.

“Oh, so that’s how its going to be? Huh?’ Felicity knew she would not win a fight, and while she was dubious about the fact that Sara would truly bring the fight, she decided to take a less confrontational route to get what she wanted. She turned and walked into the kitchen and shook Sara’s food bag a bit. Immediately she heard the bone hit the hard wood floor and the pattering of Malinois feet headed her way. Felicity ginned internally, and gave herself a figurative pat on the back. She grabbed the leash from the counter and hooked it to Sara's collar and then went back to the couch. Sara tried to get jump on next to her, and Felicity attempted to block her with her leg. But Sara jumped right over and landed on the couch. Felicity grabbed the end of the leash and gently pulled Sara off the couch.

“Off” and then sat back down. Sara had other ideas, and for the next 20 minutes they danced around each other. Each time Sara got on the couch, Felicity put her off it. Eventually Sara gave in and lay at her feet, gripping her bone and chewing contentedly. It was a small battle, but it felt huge to Felicity. She was finally learning how to problem solve without needing to call Roy about every little thing.

She was so proud of herself that she wanted to share this ginormous accomplishment with someone, but there was only one person who would appreciate it, so she pulled out her computer and started her email.

 

**From: Hacktivist42@gmail.com**   
**To: grnairo5@gmail.com**   
**Subject: Sara**

**Dear Sir,**

**I figured you were right and this was an easier way to keep in touch. Thank you for writing me back and giving me what turned out to be very helpful advice in regards to our girl.**

**When I first got Sara, we had some aggression issues. I realize now they were based, on both our parts, in fear and uncertainty. But they made me realize that I am a small woman and she is a pretty powerful dog. I know that I can’t win in a physical fight with her, so I have to try to outsmart her. It’s a bit sad that I have to work hard to outsmart a dog, but none of this comes naturally to me. My trainer has been amazing, guiding me in ways that keep me in control without having to show any physical strength. Just have to use my brains.**

**Tonight, Sara decided to not listen to me when I asked her to get off the couch. I asked a second time, standing, and she fully “flipped me the paw” and even lifted her lip at me. I took your words to heart and realized I needed to get control back now, before it became a bigger issue and I was relegated to the armchair for the duration of our relationship. So I TRICKED her. Went into the kitchen and jiggled her food bag, she came running. I leashed her up and went back to the couch. She tried, boy did she try, to get back up, but I was able to stop her or correct her, with the leash. She is now curled nicely at my feet.**

**I feel like I won a huge battle. I know, after what you two went through you will probably find that a bad analogy. So, sorry bout that. But as a geeky small woman, outsmarting this dog is huge!**

**Sara is doing fantastic. She has really settled and we are learning a lot from each other. I am starting her in a scent detection class, and I am sure she will be great and I will be the thing holding her back. But it’s going to be great to get to watch her in her true element. I will send you pictures as she progresses. Seeing as how you worked her, any hints for reading her when she is working? I plan on using her toy as a reward, but the trainer wants me to use food at first so she does not get too crazy. Thoughts? You know her best. Figured you could give me an insight into her head when she works.**

**I hope this email finds you well. I am sure that getting back into life here in the States is not easy after what you have been through. I can’t imagine what goes though your mind each day. I hope you are finding peace here at home, and keeping yourself busy as best you can.**

**This is my personal email address, so you can just reply to this email if you decide to. I check it fairly regularly.**

**I would like to keep in touch with you and let you get to see Sara as she settles into being a house-dog with a hobby. So if you are open to it, I am willing.**

**Meghan**

Felicity read the email a few times before hitting send. She wanted it back pretty quickly but allowed that feeling of panic to recede. She knew she was now blatantly lying to her boss. She had deliberately used a different name, purposely left out important details. But she came to a decision while writing to Oliver. She was going to do her best to find out about Oliver and his ability to care for Sara on both fronts. And when she was ready and when she was comfortable, she would come clean and they would deal with Sara and her custody. This is how she had to do it, she convinced herself and it was a perfectly reasonable course of action.

The next day, Felicity woke up and went through her normal routine, walk the dog, feed her and settle her into her crate for the day, then she headed to work. As expected, her office was disaster, piles of papers she needed to review, plans that needed approval, invoices that needed signing, messages that needed to be returned, her work email had 54 unread messages. Felicity took a deep breath and settled into the day, trying to catch up on all that she had put aside for her mini breakdown yesterday. She was not expecting to see Oliver Queen standing in her office later that morning.

“Felicity” he asked quietly. She looked up and saw him engulfing her doorway. He looked tense and she noticed his eyes would not settle.

“Oliver, sorry, Mr. Queen, sorry, that was a too familiar, not sure what I was thinking of course I don’t get to call you Oliver, oh my god, now I cant stop talking, please make me stop talking” she took a deep breath and looked at him, a smile started gracing his face and before she knew it, he had actually let out a small laugh.

“Felicity.”

She shivered, actually shivered when he said he name.

“Oliver is fine. Mr. Queen was my father.” He continued to smile and Felicity felt the burn in her cheeks fade. She was so on edge around him now. She could feel the tension in her shoulders increase and knew another round of verbal diarrhea was about to spurt forth. She attempted to stave it off by asking a short question.

“What can I do to you?”

He laughed again and she felt her cheeks heat up in another blush, epic fail. “Sorry, sorry, for you. What can I do FOR you?” She resisted the urge to bang her head on her desk and then crawl out the nearest window.

‘Actually, I was wondering if we could get lunch today. I want to get caught up on the Applied Sciences plans, and I’m hungry. Two birds, one stone and all.”

“Lunch, yah, okay. I still have some work to finish up here, but I should be free-ish around 12:30. That work?” Glad her mind had not completely deserted her, she looked into his eyes for a response.

“12:30 is fine, I can order something and you can just come up to my office when you can get done?”

“Great, it’s a date,” she paused “not a date date, not like that, not that you would ever want to date me, but it’s a plan.” She heard him laugh again and this time she joined him, “Sorry, but my brain to mouth filter is on permanent disability."q He just smiled again and left her office, laughter on his impossibly perfect face.

Felicity spent the next 90 minutes finishing up the most important work left from the day before, and then gathering and organizing the plans for the Applied Sciences division, she made sure she was fully prepared for whatever questions he may ask. She wanted to impress him, and to Felicity that meant being prepared for any possibly eventuality.

She made her way to his office, along with the blue prints, schematics, basic designs and some of the innovations, design ideas and amazing science experiments that would be happening once the facility was up and running. She arrived at his office door at a few minutes past 12:30. Oliver’s assistant waved her through as she was occupied on the phone and Felicity immediately got a whiff of Italian food.

“Ms. Smoak!” he sounded excited to see her, but she was probably imagining it. “I got Italian, I hope that’s ok.” He looked down at the food as he gave it a nearly picture perfect Game Show flourish with his hands.

“Italians perfect, thank you. I brought some plans and stuff for you to look at.” She looked down at her nearly bursting arms and cringed at the extreme amount of stuff nearly falling out of her grip, a piece of paper did finally make it's way loose. She tried to catch it, but ended up dropping everything in her haste.

‘Well that was predictable” she said quietly, as she looked down at the huge mass of papers and plans on the floor of her boss’s office. She bent down to pick it up and Oliver quickly came to help. Once everything was picked up, they placed it on the table in the office.

“First things first, “ he said, clapping his hands together, “lunch. I don’t know about you, but I am famished.” He moved towards the food that covered his actual desk and Felicity could help herself not to interject.

“There is a lot to go over. Maybe we can spread it out and go over stuff as we eat?”

“Nope. We're going to eat first. Then work.’ He seemed so confident and, well, happy that she couldn't help but not question it.

“What’s got you so chipper?” she was mortified the second the question left her mouth.

“I am sorry, it’s none of my business,” she said as she moved towards the take-out containers.

“I am chipper. I got good news today, and, for the first time," he answered. "I feel like things are moving in the right direction.”

She looked at him and saw what she thought may be a truly relaxed version of the man she barely knew.

“Good, that’s good”

“Yeah, it is.” A doofy grin spread across his face and Felicity felt a giggle escape. Before she knew it, she was full in the throws of laughter she couldn't stop. Every time she tried, she caught sight of his expression and she laughed harder. He joined her. It was freeing; the nervous jitters disappeared and they were just two people, having fun.

After the impromptu giggles subsided, they both grabbed their food and sat down across from each other, digging in to the amazingness that was contained inside.

“So Felicity, tell me something about yourself? How did you end up here at QC?”

She swallowed a bite of her food and thought about her answer. She needed to make sure that she never got her stories crossed and knew she needed to remember what she told him. She figured it was easier to be Felicity with him in person and make up something for Meghan.

“Not much to tell really, raised by a single mom, who worked hard in the casinos of Vegas. Full ride to MIT, graduated in 3 years, Summa Cum laude, got my masters after two more, was offered jobs at QC, Wayne Enterprises, Microsoft, Google and Apple. Chose QC and here I am.” She hated talking about herself. The thought that someone amazing and wealthy and powerful would judge her or her family was disturbing. He kept the details close to her heart.

“That doesn’t sound like “not much to tell” to me. Sounds amazing really. More a story than my life.” He looked down at his food and Felicity tried to get eye contact back.

“I don’t know” she started, “you are a war hero, head of a multi-million dollar technology company. That seems like a pretty good story to me.”

“There are no heroes in war. And I inherited this company.”

“You were brave enough to go. I get to sit here eating amazing food in an amazing office, and go home and watch Breakfast Club while eating ice cream, because of men and women like you. You may not see yourself as a hero, but I do. I can’t imagine--I don’t want to--what you saw and did. But I am thankful for it. As for this company, your dad may have built it, but you have the courage to take it on, knowing nothing, you are again, throwing yourself into the deep end. Taking a stand and trying; that’s pretty remarkable.”

Felicity figured she had over stepped her bounds when he did not acknowledge her for a few minutes. She felt bad and wanted to make things relaxed again, needing him to open up,

“So I read that you once peed on a cop car? That’s a story that needs to be told.” His head jerked and his eyes were wide and she as worried that she was about to get thrown out of the office.

“Totally not my fault. Tommy, Tommy Merlin, he dared me. He said there was no way any cop in this city would do anything to me, the heir of QC. He was wrong.”

“Dared you, huh? What were the terms? The terms are important in a case like this” and before she realized it, they were talking, actually talking, exchanging stories of sordid pasts, laughing at how ridiculous they were as kids, how every emotion was heightened. More than an hour flew by and they had not looked at he Applied Sciences information at all. A soft knock on the office door and a head poked in.

‘I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr. Queen, but Joe Riche is in the conference room for you, 2pm.” The head left as quickly as it appeared and the two began to straighten out the mess.

‘Well, guess we need to try this again tomorrow, I really do want to hear what going on in my company.”

She felt the room, and her face light up with the thought of spending more one on one time with him and nodded her head in agreement. She had just about made it out of the office when his voice called out to her.

“Felicity”

“Yes, Oliver?”

“Thank you”

“For what?”

“Just, Thank you” he smiled at her and she let it go, making her way back to her office to finish the rest of the work that waited for her. It was going to be along afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I feel the need to address the new movie coming out called "Max". I am personally looking forward to this movie, but I, as so many other working dog folks are, am worried about the impact this movie may have in regards to the popularity of the breed. Sara, in my story is a Malinois, as is Max in the movie.
> 
> I need to say, Malinois are not good pets. I love the breed and they have their place, but they make horrible pets. Sara, in my story, is a very laid back Mal. Because honestly, Felicity could not handle a true Mal. Please enjoy the movie, but don't think that all Mals are going to be as wonderful as the dog in the movie. These are serious dogs, with serious issues, and real tough temperments. If you have questions regarding the breed, please feel free to contact me..


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. I am so sorry for the delay in chapters. My head hangs in shame. Never thought life would get in the way as much as it did. I apologize, I never wanted to be THAT author. The one who disappears and never finished a story. I promise it will be finished. Thank you to all those that have continued to review and kudos and bookmark my little story. I am back in the game and the muse has hit, so I should be updating on a regular basis. 
> 
> This, as well as most chapters is unbeta'd. All mistakes, and I am sure there are plenty, are mine and mine alone. I wanted to get this chapter posted. Its a bit shorter than usual, but this was the natural place to end it.

October 27th 2014,

 

Oliver woke up, sweat beaded his forehead and he could feel his muscles tense. He couldn’t remember the dream that woke him, but his heart was pounding and his senses were alert.  He was not sure how it happened, but he felt like he was back in country. His was on high alert, and no matter how long he had slept, he never felt rested.  His mind was foggy, hypersensitive, but not able to take anything in. He felt like he was living in a perpetual hangover state, not enough to be puking over the porcelain goddess, but enough to feel like he was not wholly with the rest of the world. It was a hard thing to explain, being hyperaware, but so tired that everything was dulled. He knew everything that was going on around him, but he could not process it, so he reacted weird to ordinary things.

 He slowly made his way into the bathroom. A warm shower was what he needed, to clear his mind, to wash away the terror of the night.  Once that was done, he made his way back to his bedroom, towel wrapped around disfigured body.

 “Hey bro, what’s up?” Thea sat on his bed, perfectly coifed and ready to face the day.

 “Speedy, how many times do I have to tell you that you can’t sneak into my room?’ he tried to be understanding and nice, but his nerves were on the verge of exploding and he did not want that to happen around his sister. He realized how gruff and angry he sounded when he watched her face fall.

 “Sorry, just wanted to say ‘good morning’.” She got up to leave and he immediately felt bad, this was his Thea and she wanted her brother back. He knew that he would never be the same brother that she remembered, but there was no way she could understand that, and he didn’t want her to feel like she should feel bad for wanting it back,

 “Sorry, sis.” He made his way to her and she stopped her retreat. His arms wrapped around her from behind and he gave her a squeeze. It was the best he could do, he was trying, but he felt like a fake.  He loved his sister, and he wanted to be the brother she needed, but he couldn’t right now.  The realization that he was pretending, that he was, in effect, making her think that he was who she wanted, hurt him more than any IED ever had.

 Thea had known him as a carefree, irresponsible, yet protective older brother.  Most days now, he could barely care for himself, much less care for someone else. But she didn’t need to know that. So he tried, he relaxed his shoulders and leaned into her as he hugged her from behind.  He felt her relax and knew the second she forgave him for being a dick. He wanted to let go at that moment, but he knew her defensive walls would just shoot back up, so he stayed where he was until she turned around and hugged him back.

 “Sorry, its just weird having someone else in my room. I don’t mean to be a jerk about it.” He tried to assuage her anger with the most basic and superficial reasoning.

 “I know. Sorry.  I did knock.” She quietly said back to him and his guilt overwhelmed him. He let go of her and turned so his back was to her. He was losing control.  He tried to keep a leash on his emotions, but dealing with his sisters, was throwing a wrench in his artfully concocted world.  He didn’t believe he had it in him to truly care anymore. He was trying, and failing, to become what everyone thought he should be. He just wished Thea understood that he was no longer the brother she loved.  The expectations on him were overwhelming.  Sometimes he wished that he could just be back in country, it was so much simpler then. Wake up, survive, have your brothers back, rinse repeat.

 He regained his composure and turned back to Thea, ready to apologize, again and saw that Diggle was in the hallway, watching the interaction. His best friend said nothing, made no movement that showed he understood what was happening and for some reason, that let Oliver know that his friend knew exactly what was happening. He felt just one tiny bit less alone. He had a friend, and he needed more. His therapist had said that he needed to open up a bit, not share the gory details, but talk to some one, who wasn’t there. The thought terrified him. He could not imagine that anyone would want to listen to him unload. It seemed like such a foreign concept.

 His family was never the touchy feely, share your thoughts kind of family.  So talking to anyone about anything truly personal made him very uncomfortable. Just letting someone in, and sharing any of his feelings, no, just no.  The ‘brotherhood’ of the Army, need none of that, just the shared experiences, the living in close quarters, that was enough to form a tight bond. They never talked about what they saw or felt. Well, not any more in depth than “Man did you see” “yah man, crazy” or “Do you think we are gonna get home” “of course” but more was never needed, a shared look, a quiet night, just laying quietly in bunks, laughter and joking over a photo of a pretty girlfriend.  It was all they needed.  Or so he thought at the time.

 But if he was going to get “better” then he needed to try.  And it came as no surprise to Oliver that the first and truly only person that he wanted to even try to get to know better, was one, very pretty, verbose IT worker. Oliver gave a small nod to his friend, and looked at Thea.  He could see her calculating and watching him.  She really was too smart for her own good.  He knew she knew that he was changed.  He really needed to stop underestimating her; she was not the child he let behind anymore.

 Before he could say anything more to her, she flipped her hair and turned on her heel.  ‘See ya later Ollie!” her hand came up over her shoulder and with that small flourish she was gone.

 

 

After a few tough hours at the office, Oliver finally made his way down to the IT department to ask Felicity to lunch. This time he was going to take her somewhere nice.

 “Knock Knock” he said and he walked into her workspace.

 “Oliver. Hi” he smiled at her surprised look, of course it did not hurt that he had caught her deep in thought, chewing on a red pen.

 “Hey, so I thought we could try this again.” He smiled and looked at her expectantly.

 “Oh, yeah, sure.” He was put out a bit to see her face fall at his words.  He never once imagined that she would not want to spend more time with him.  He was used to women flocking to him.  His heart dropped as he realized that he had overestimated any sort of connection he had felt with this woman.  He did not want her to feel obligated, so he gave her an out.

 “Hey, don’t worry about it.  I can get lunch with my assistant. You look super busy anyway.” He turned to leave and hide his embarrassment, but she called out. He could not help but turn back to her.

 “Lunch, I want lunch. I like lunch.” He turned back to her, confused as to what was happening.

 “Sorry,” she blushed and ducked her head. “I thought you wanted to go over AS plans, and I took them to the new building this morning, and well,” she looked up at him.

 “As much as I do want to go over those, I was thinking maybe we could just go for lunch, away from the office. Get to know each other a bit?” He hated the hopeful and nearly desperate sound to his voice.

 “I would love that.” He watched as she stood up and grabbed her purse, “Ever been to Big Belly Burger? ‘Cause that’s what I want.” She looked up at him, with her blue eyes and Oliver was lost, and not at all happy about it.  Friends, he needed a friend, not a conquest.

 “Oliver?” he saw her snap her fingers, “we going or what?” He felt a smile come on and gestured with his hand to the door.

 

 They arrived at the diner 15 minutes later and he pulled out her chair, they sat in comfortable silence, reading the menu for a few seconds.

 “I don’t know why I even look at this,” Felicity put down her menu and looked at him. “I know what I want.” He smiled back at her and placed his menu on the table as well. The waitress saw their action and came to the table, an expectant look on her face.

 “I want the Big Belly, medium rare, with everything, except onions. Gotta go back to work.” Felicity answered and gave a smile.

 “Me too” Oliver agreed. “But I also want a chocolate milkshake”

 “Oooohhhh me too!” Felicity piped in “ and some fries”.

 The waitress left and Oliver sat there, staring at the woman across the table, at a complete loss of words.  He needed a friend, but he so wanted to impress this woman, and showing his weaknesses was not the way he did that.

 “Ok, Oliver” she enunciated his name, as if it was foreign to her, “ tell me about yourself. Not the jock, social boy, tell me about you.” She looked at him, hope in her eyes and he could not, for the life of him, bring himself to open up.

 “Not much to tell, really.” He saw her face fall and tried to say something of importance, “Guess I never felt like I fit in with my family, so I chose a different path, went into the Army. Got deployed. Not really something I like to talk to about much.”

 “OK. So, I get that, I think. But it couldn’t all be bad? Right? You must have made friends? Anyone you keep in touch with?” She was trying, he saw that and he wanted to reciprocate.

 “Yeah, I made lots of friends, my best friend John, is staying with me now.”

 “What’s he like?” she asked.

 “He is the best man I know.” He took a drink of water and tried to get his thoughts straight. Talking about Diggle was hard. “He saved my life. I saved his. He makes me want to be a better man. To be a man that can be proud to have him as a friend.” Oliver dropped his eyes and tried to reign in his emotions, putting in to words his feelings for his best friend was weird. He had never spoken to anyone about it before.  No one could understand.

 “I have always wanted a friend like that. But gotta say, never want to go through what you did to get one.” Her faced turned fuchsia and she tried to back track, “sorry that was rude.”

 “Felicity, no its fine, really. You are right. I wish I had met him before the Army.  Being deployed sucks. I don’t wish it on anyone. But I am glad I met him.” They realized their food had put in form of them, and started to dig in.  Oliver watched, from the corner of his eye, as Felicity dug into her burger. He could not get over how attracted he was to her, even with ketchup dribbling down the corner of her mouth.  Without conscious thought, he reached out to wipe her from her face. Felicity froze as his hand reached out to her; he almost stopped, but pushed forward. His stomach flipped as he touched her, for the first time.  He forced a smile as he brushed the offending condiment off her face. She smiled back and he relaxed, his embarrassment waning quickly.

 “So, since you obviously don’t like talking about yourself, I will talk about me.” Felicity said with flourish. Oliver could not help but laugh and gestured her to continue.

 “I am not super interesting. So Sorry.”

 “You are interesting to me.” He answered with all sincerity. He watched her bluh and hide her face, but was not surprised that she pushed on.

 “Ok, well, lets see. Raised by a single mom who worked two jobs at casino’s to pay bills, dad left when I was 7. Ummm, got into MIT, graduated at the top of my class, living in hard-core debt, after college got offers from Queen Consolidated, Wayne Enterprises and Merlyn Global, and Microsoft.  QC gave the best benefits and let me be close enough to my mom I could visit, not that I ever do. But it’s an option.”

 “Merlyn is close too.” He asked.

 “Yeah, but it just did NOT feel right.” She replied. He smiled at her, totally understanding her reticiance in regards to Merlyn. He has known the founder and CEO and his son since he was a child. He got it.

 “Well I am glad you chose us.” She smiled back at him, and they both continued to eat.  The conversation got easier, but never deeper than the small amount Felicity shared. Oliver watched her every move, every laugh, and smirk.  He was enthralled. He had never been more drawn to someone in his life.  She made him happy. He had not been truly happy in a long time.  Lunch was over too soon and Felicity rushed back to the office, they made plans for lunch later in the week, and he was looking forward to it.

 As the day wore on, Oliver realized he had not been able to open up to Felicity.  With her, there was too much at stake.  He did not want to scare her away so soon.  He knew it would happen at some point, but he did not want it now. He wanted time with her, before he terrified her. 

 Without much thought, he opened his email and started writing to Sara’s new owner.  Maybe talking about Sara would ease his mind a bit.

 

**Meghan,**

**Glad my advice served you well.  Once she gets you are in control, she is a big baby. But you can never forget! It’s always in play with her. But don’t worry, you will get into the swing of things and it will become second nature to you and her.**

**The scent detection classes sound great.  I agree with your trainer, start with food, her food drive is way lower than her toy drive, but good enough for an effective reward.  She will get too crazy for a toy at this point in training, so use that at the very end of the session, as a final reward.  But not for teaching new things.**

**Watch her tail, when she gets in to scent, it shoots straight up, and she throws her nose up trying to catch more scent.  A sure fire way of knowing when she is in scent, then she gets hyper focused, almost obsessive in her movement.  It’s going to be very obvious.**

**Thanks for asking about me. Things are going ok.  Settling into civilian life is way harder than I expected. My family is frustrated with me, my coworkers are scared of me, and I am scared of my reactions to mundane things.  It is a ride. But my friend is staying with me and my family, and he has been a great source of stability.  But we don’t talk much, not about what we saw and did.  We internalize.  A skill that was effective while deployed, but not so much at home.  But I am working on it!**

**Enough about me, back to Sara.  I can’t wait to see pictures.  She is such a good-looking girl, and I miss her face.  Those “who me?” eyes when she is caught doing something questionable, or the “are you sure? face” when she gets invited on the bed, but thinks it’s a trap.  Makes me smile just thinking about her.**

**Looking forward to pictures**

**Oliver**

He hit send.  Thinking about Sara made him feel calmer. He relaxed back into his desk chair and just let the thoughts and day run through is head.  He had no idea how long he sat that way, but a “bing” from his computer caught his attention.  He sat up and saw that he had an email, from Meghan. He smiled, must have gotten lost in his thought for longer than he intended.  He clicked on her message and read her reply.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh yeah, so I suck. I am so sorry for the late update. If 6 months can still be called late. I have no excuse, except life. But all of the recent kudos and reviews has fueled me, and I wrote this chapter and the next. 
> 
> As always, this is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Which leads me to my next thing. In the process of writing this chapter, and getting back into the groove of writing, I read my whole story, from the start, and there are some horrific issues with previous chapters. So I plan, in the next week, to go through and update them and fix some issues. That will include some minor changes to the dates and stuff, nothing that will affect the story as a whole, but will make it make better sense. So if you get a lot of alerts over this week, ignore them. All issues will be fixed by the end of Sunday.
> 
> The next chapter will be uploaded next weds.
> 
> Thanks again for the support. It was the people reading this story that got me back to it. So thank you. if you never thought your reviews and kudos meant anything, they do, they really do, speaking for all writers.

**Dear Oliver,**

**Yes, Sarah has a very expressive face. My personal favorite is the “what do you mean I cant have that piece of pizza crust?” and the “oh hey, you never told me it was raining outside, I don’t really have to pee that bad” face. I can always tell what she is thinking, and I am finally learning to outthink her. It has not been an easy journey, but as my trainer said, “If I keep at it, it will become second nature” and it is finally starting to. I no longer feel overwhelmed by her. She is now just an extraordinarily ordinary part of my existence. My world revolves around her and her needs, and it’s a bit liberating, being tied down. And yeah, I know I am not making any sense, or maybe I am, who knows.**

**Her Nose Works class starts this Saturday, and I am really excited to get her out and do some different training with her. I have been working with a great obedience trainer, and she is doing great. He has even got me thinking about trying for some obedience competitions. It actually makes me laugh a bit, to even think about doing something, so “dog crazy” like competing. But I think it would be fun. She can definitely do it, but I am worried about the crowds and the other dogs. I think I may need to give her more time.**

**When I first decided to get a dog, I wanted a buddy. I just wanted something to come home to; maybe a dog that would bark when someone came to the door. Never in my life did I imagine that I would even be contemplating anything more than the occasional and requisite dog training school. But then Sarah came, and I knew she needed more, and the funny thing, because it makes her happy, I am happy, and I want her happy, so I do it, and I love it.**

**Gosh I am sorry, I am really rambling here. My mouth to brain filter apparently transferred to its inability to function to my brain to typing filter.**

**How are you? How is your friend? Work?**

**Sorry again, not trying to pry, please ignore me if you don’t want to answer. But I would like to consider you a friend. You have been so helpful with Sarah. And if I can ever help you, I would like that chance. There I go again, over stepping boundaries. I am going to stop now.**

**I attached some more pictures of our girl.**

**Talk soon**

**Meghan**

Oliver smiled as he read the email. He could feel the formality breaking down, and he was happy for that. He knew, that if he was ever going to see Sarah again, Meghan was going to have to trust him. But for some reason he could not explain, getting Sarah back was becoming lower on his priority list. He was sad to realize it, but at the same time, he knew it was a good thing. He knew his life and health was getting back on track. He scrolled through the new pictures Meghan had sent along with her email. None of them included Meghan, and he was a bit annoyed at that. It would be nice to put a face to the emails, but he understood her still lingering desire to remain anonymous. Maybe one day.

 

He started typing

 

**Meghan,**

**Never apologize for asking me questions. I would like to be friends as well. I have never been good talking about myself, but it is a skill I am practicing.**

**I am well. I am working at my fathers; I guess mine now, company. Its been, well hard. I have never had much of a business mind. I have always been a “just do it” person. And I find myself in mind numbing meeting after mind numbing meeting. And not even meetings that get anything done. It’s literally having a meeting to discuss a meeting and meeting to discuss forming a committee to decide what will be discussed at the next meeting. I am not joking, it’s dreadful. I get caught up in numbers I don’t understand, have to make decisions that affect thousands if not hundreds of thousands of lives and its so hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes. But it gets easier each day.**

**My friend, Diggle, is great. He has been an amazing support and just fit right in with the rest of my family. Just seeing him, when I am feeling stressed or out of control, seems to settle me down and help me refocus. He is truly a rock. I have never seen him falter, and sometimes, well sometimes, he makes me feel like less of a man. He lost a leg in country, and has never missed a beat. Why can I not be like that? What is wrong with me?**

**Ah anyway, I think I may regret that last sentence. But my therapist, please don’t think less of me, says I need to talk about it, and since I don’t really know you…**

**Can’t wait to hear how Sarah does at her first class. She was always great at her job, it’s going to take her a bit to realize she is looking for a new scent, but I don’t think she will have any problems switching. Once she realizes what scent gets her the reward, she will do great.**

**Its nice to hear that she has settled in so well. She was a great dog and a soft spot in a very hard world for me. And I think you would do great at competitive obedience. Sarah was always a very alert and watchful dog, when did our basic ob stuff, she always had her eye on me. She loves routine. But she may get a bit freaked in a huge competition environment. You should get her out, to pet stores, Home Depot, stuff like that. Take her toy, keep her engaged, walk around, play and then leave. See how she does. She got worse with loud noises and storms the longer in to our deployment, how has she been with the recent thunderstorms?**

**Best,**

**Oliver**

**Oliver,**

**So we just got back from our first Nose Works class. It was different than I expected. We did not start with any scent, just teaching them to search boxes for food. Sarah did great, found the food each time with no problem. I had to keep her on leash the whole time, which is fine. We were in a big warehouse type building and I don’t trust her off leash. It sounds like each week the “hides” will get harder and harder and then they will start pairing the scent with the food and then phase out the food? Not sure, but I think that’s how they do it. I was really hoping for her to strut her stuff on scent, but I guess she has to learn ‘the game” first? It’s all new to me, so hopefully this will go well. But Sarah did great.**

**As for the rest of your email, not sure where to start, except to say, “you got this”. We may have never met, but I think I can say with confidence that you overanalyze a bit, and take blame for things that are not your responsibility? So stop that. You are a very strong person; only a strong person could survive and thrive after what you have been through. You can figure out numbers, you can figure out the big picture. Just don’t ever lose sight of it. People are depending on you; they are assuming you have their best interests at heart. I think sometimes that means making the hard decisions. Follow your heart. Do what’s right, for the greater good of the company and the people that have been loyal to it.**

**Next, there is nothing “wrong” with you. Everyone is different. Just because you don’t see Diggle struggle, does not mean he is not. But maybe it’s in a different way than you are. And that’s ok. You have been a good friend to him and he to you, ask him how he is doing. I think you will find that he is dealing with the same issues. Talk to him. There is no shame in talking to someone, a therapist, a best friend, a total stranger via email,** **J.**

**I am always here, with an ear, well a monitor. If you need it, I can be a sounding board.**

**Meghan**

Oliver read her email, multiple times. She had sent along some pictures of Sarah, he assumed in the Nose Works class. He focused on the bulk of her message and found that she was right. He had made a lot of progress, but he was never going to be fully “well” until he faced his stuff head on, and he needed to stop feeling like he failed, failed his mom, his sister, his company, his men. He typed a quick response to her email, based on her pictures, and then stood up from his desk and went looking for Digg. He found him, sitting in the dark in the kitchen, a cup of something liquid on the table. He knew better than to sneak up on him, so he shuffled his feet a bit and cleared his throat.

 

“I heard you coming down the steps Oliver, you never were the stealthiest of men” he heard his friend call out. Oliver smiled a walked normally into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water, then heading to the kitchen table and joined his friend.

 

“You all right?” he asked Digg.

 

“Cant sleep” was the reply. Is voice was gruff and his words slurred just slightly.

 

“Whatcha drinking” Oliver asked

 

“Whiskey”

 

Oliver leaned back in the chair and studied his friend for a moment. His darker skin was ashen, his eyes hooded. He looked like shit, to be honest.

 

“Sounds good, gonna get me a glass.” Oliver stood and started walking away but stopped when he heard his friend mumble under his breath, he could not make it out, but it sounded rude.

 

“What?” he turned back and met his friends eyes, they were hard and almost unfocused.

 

“I said, there’s no point, it doesn’t help.”

 

“Doesn’t help what?”

 

“The pain” Diggs chin dropped and he twisted his body away. Oliver took a deep breath, unsure what to do, uncomfortable with the question he needed to ask, but Meghan’s email rang in his head, if Diggle was anything like him, he had his own demons.

 

Oliver moved back to table and sat down, whiskey forgotten.

 

“What pain?”

 

There was no answer. Oliver waited, knowing whatever it was, was hard to articulate. And he had all the time in the world for his best friend.

 

“My leg, it still hurts. I can still feel it.” Finally the answer came and Oliver felt the tears well up. Phantom pain, he never thought to even ask about it. It was just never talked about.

 

“Every minute, of every day. I feel it. Not how it used to be, but how it was right after the IED. I can’t sleep, half the time I cant even think straight.”

 

Oliver was stunned, he never imagined his friend was living his life in excruciating pain, every day.

 

“We’ll figure it out Digg.” Oliver had no idea what to say. He watched his friend nod his head, push back his chair and stand up, grabbing his crutch and head back to his room. He had not expected a response, but Diggles silence spoke volumes.

 

Oliver sat in the kitchen for a bit longer, thinking over what Diggle had told him and what Meghan had written. He wished he would have had the courage to open up sooner; maybe then he would have gotten the advice that led him to know his friend was hurting. He felt like he had failed Diggle. He had been so wrapped up in his own pain and world, that he never looked at Diggle, really looked, until tonight. He had had a one-track mind. Maybe that’s what Meghan meant by looking at the big picture.

 

It was time to start looking around.

 

 

Felicity heard her email alert ping, well honestly it was the sound of the TARDIS, but ping worked. She picked up her phone, tearing herself away from Love Actually and opened the email from Oliver. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head and she let out an offended squeak, if squeaks could ever be called offended. She fired off an email back and called Sarah up on to the couch, and settled back into her movie, still pissed.

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so its not Wednesday, but close? This turned into a long chapter, so sorry for that, trying to end it in the best place. We are getting to the good parts now. So I am trying to make sure each chapter moves the story forward.
> 
> I did not get a chance to edit my previous chapters this past week. I wont bore you with my life, but well, it really sucked. So, hopefully I will get to it this weekend.
> 
> Sorry for the cliff hanger last time:)

 

 

 

**SARAH IS NOT FAT!!!**

 

Oliver busted out laughing when he read Meghan’s offended, if all caps was any indication, response to his email, no “dear Oliver” no “all the best Meghan”, just pure anger in an email. He had noticed in the most recent pictures, that Sarah had lost her “tuck”. He had been used to seeing her at working weight, which was, by most civilian standards “too skinny”, and he knew that she would put on a few pounds, as she was no longer working everyday. But Sarah was truly pudgy now.

Oliver did a quick search and sent a few links in a return email to Meghan, along with some words of encouragement.

 

**Meghan,**

**Yes she is. Look at the links I sent. Sarah is easily a 7/9 on the BCS. She should be a 4-5. She needs to lose about 8lbs. Sorry, but seeing as how we are friends now, I figured I could be honest with you. Cut her food back 20% and any treats she gets, cut them in half. She won’t know the difference. Remember, she is training now; you are using food as a reward, so those calories are adding to her waist line. You can also try running with her. She loved to jog next to us. Walking is great, but not nearly enough of a cardio boost for a dog like Sarah, even at a good clip.**

**Also, I want to thank you, you were right (I get the feeling I am going to be saying that a lot to you) I talked to Digg. He does have his own demons; I just never bothered to ask. Not sure what that says about me, but my therapist will figure it out. But now I can try to help him.**

**So thank you.**   
**Oliver**

He stood, stretched a bit and then headed downstairs to “greet the day”. He found his family in the kitchen, the laughter, mixed with the clanking of pans was relaxing, even in its noisiness. He stood, watching them work for a minute before his sister caught sight of him.

“What? Are you just going to stand there and let them ruin my classic banana pancakes?” Thea ‘s voice rang out.

Oliver held up his hands in the universal sign of “surrender” and entered the room. He saw Digg sitting at the kitchen table, unable to meet his eyes. Oliver knew that his friend was most likely embarrassed about showing weakness last night, and so he did the opposite of what he wanted. He said nothing and moved next to his sister and hip checked her, pushing her out of the way.

“YOUR classic banana pancakes, you must have amnesia Speedy, because they are MY recipe, now back off little miss and let the master take over.” He smiled at his sister’s look of false offense and laughed as she moved away, opened the fridge, and grabbed the Orange Juice.

“Fine, it may be your recipe,” using fake air quotes around the word your, “But don’t come crying to me when they suck” She took a swig of the OJ, right from the container and turned away.

“Thea Queen!” his mothers outraged voice, laced with humor, broke through. “In this house we don’t drink straight from the carton!”

“Sorry mom,” clearly not an ounce of sorry in her voice. Thea pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it.

“So boys, what’s on your agenda today?” his mother asked.

“Well, seeing as it’s Sunday, nothing.” Oliver answered looking to his friend.

“Actually, I am meeting with an old buddy of mine.” Oliver tried to hide his surprise; he had no idea that Digg had any friends in Starling City. He tried not to be offended, and told himself that he had no right to be offended.

“Oh really? That’s nice. Tell me about this friend.” His mother gave John no out.

John took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts for a second, “Roy was a guy that I knew before I was deployed, the first time. He worked in the kennels at Lackland, just starting his time in service. Apparently he is out now and is doing some civilian dog training here in town. This is where his family lives.” Digg tried to leave it at that, but Moira, as every mother is, was insistent to know more.

“That’s wonderful John! How did you two reconnect?”

“Uh, actually through a support group. He posted that he was looking for some former handlers to help him with some dogs that he has in house to train for other people. So I messaged him.” Digg looked up at Oliver and he could see that his friend was unsure how he was taking this information.

“Oliver, if you want, you could come too. I am sure he could use some other help.” The offer was an obvious ploy to be polite, and Oliver knew John did not want him to accept.

“Sounds cool, but I cant. Not yet. Plus, I got so much going on at QC, I couldn’t commit to anything. But you go. You are amazing with dogs, maybe you can whip some of those civilian handlers into shape.” Oliver gave a genuine smile in his friend’s direction and saw the tension leave his shoulders, and knew he had made the right call.

“Yeah, it will be good to get out of my head for a bit and concentrate on something else, but if you ever want to join us, let me know. Roy is a good guy.”

“Obviously, or you would not have even reached out to him.” He trusted his friend implicitly, and needed to let him know that. “Do you need a driver?”

“Uh, actually yeah. I guess I do. Not allowed to drive yet.” Diggle seemed embarrassed to realize that.

“No problem John, what time do you need to be there? I can have Harry drop me at my appointment and then come back for you.” Oliver had never loved his mother more; she was so willing to help and thought nothing of it. Now that she considered Diggle family, she would end the world for him.

“I told him I could meet him around 1.”

“Well that’s perfect, my appointment is at noon and I won’t be done until 5 or so, is that enough time?” Oliver walked over and gave his mom a one armed hug, she looked a bit confused at his show of affection, but she didn’t tense up.

“That’s perfect actually. Thank you.”

“Oh no need to thank me dear.” And Oliver knew that she meant it. He kissed her cheek and walked back to the stove to check on the pancakes.

“Crap, Crap, Crap!!!” they were all burned. He could hear Thea cackling and decided to throw the spatula at her.

“OLIVER!!!!” screamed his mother and the four of them burst into laughter, which was made worse by Thea spewing OJ across the room.

 

Felicity had spent the rest of her night trying to focus on her movie and stewing over Oliver’s rude, very rude, email. How dare he say Sarah was fat, she was NOT fat. Ok well, maybe she had put on a few pounds, but she was in no way FAT.

After the movie, she got online and started researching “canine weight” and “fat dog” and “how can I tell if my dog is fat” and came to a realization, Sarah was fat. Dear God, her dog was chubby. Felicity hated being wrong. I mean really hated it. Now she had to admit to him that he was right, and that ticked her of even more. Felicity continued her research into canine nutrition and realized she was easily feeding Sarah too much. She needed to immediately cut her portions by at least ¾ of a cup. Dang, it just did not seem like enough food.

The next morning Felicity woke up to a Malinois completely molded into her side. She smiled, gave her girl a quick squeeze, and got out of bed. She slipped on her slippers and made her way to the living room and turned on her computer and checked her email. Seeing a response from Oliver, she read through it and clicked on all the links he sent, even though she had seen all of them last night in her research. She decided to not respond right away. She was actually happy that he had spoken to Diggle, but she still felt a bit foolish for her “heat of the moment” response to his observation. She decided instead to grab Sarah and go for a hike.

Three hours later she collapsed on to her couch. Apparently both she and Sarah needed to get fit. It was embarrassing how tiring a simple hike could be. She looked to her dog, expecting her to be passed out on the floor, but she wasn’t. Sarah sat a few feet away, a toy in her mouth, tail wagging, ready for more.

“Oh hell no, that’s enough for one day, heck, maybe for a week.” Sarah cocked her head, took her toy and went into her crate. Felicity took a nap.

When she woke an hour later she set about to tidy her apartment and do some work on the Applied Sciences project. Yes, she knew it was Sunday, but it still had to get done. And if she was honest with herself, she wanted something to show Oliver, if he asked to see the progress again.

The day quickly turned to afternoon and Sarah was asking to go out again. This time Felicity capitulated, knowing that she most likely needed to use the bathroom. After their brief walk, she decided to respond to Oliver’s email.

 

**Oliver,**

**Ok, so maybe I was a bit brash in my defense of Sarah. Maybe, just maybe, she is a bit on the pudgy side. I can’t believe I am fat shaming my dog. But I will endeavor to pull a couple pounds off of her. In fact today we went on a nice long hike, not long enough for her, but long enough for me. It will be a work in progress.**

**Glad to hear that you had a talk with your friend. But it’s not up to you to fix things. It’s only up to you to be his friend, in whatever capacity he needs. If he wants your help, and asks for it, great. But it’s okay for him to not ask for it. Don’t shove it down his throat. If he is anything like you, I doubt he would appreciate it.**

**I hope you had a great weekend, talk soon**

**Meghan**

  
The following week at work was crazy busy. Felicity was not only in charge of setting up the new Applied Sciences building, but had been tasked with revamping the network security in two of the overseas offices, in Milan and Paris. This came with its own unique difficulties, seeing as how she was not in either Milan or Paris. But she was making due with lots of Skype, and lots of time on the phone. But by the end of the week, she realized she was going to need to go to Europe.

Now normally, this would have not been a big deal, except now she had a dog. What was she going to do with Sarah? She did not have enough time to get her the requisite paperwork to come with, so she was going to have to board her somewhere. The thought of leaving her anywhere made her heart race. No one could care for her the way she could. The brief thought of asking Oliver was quickly squashed, she was not ready for that yet, but maybe Roy?

“Hey Roy”

“Hey Felicity, what’s up?”

“So, I have to go away for a few weeks on business unexpectedly. Any chance Sarah can stay with you? I am going to miss a few classes, but maybe you could work with her in my place?” Felicity spurted it all out, scared he would say no.

“Sure, no problem.” He responded without thought. Felicity let out a huge breath, already feeling better.

“Thank you so much.”

“Hey, no worries. Actually I have a new guy here helping me with some training, friend from my time in the service. He would be a great person to work her in class. Former handler, good guy.”

“Sure, I mean if you trust him with her, I trust him.”

“Great when do you leave?” He asked.

“On Monday. Maybe it would be easier if I just left her with you after class tomorrow? I will bring her food, she is on a diet, and her toys and stuff. Do you need her crate?”

“Nope, got plenty of crates. Sounds good, see you at class tomorrow, you been practicing at all?” Felicity ducked her head, even though he couldn’t see it, and mumbled “no”

“Not at all?” he was incredulous.

“Sorry, I know, I suck. But seriously, got assigned to another project, it’s been keeping me up at all hours with time zone differences, that’s why I am going there. To get things in order so I can manage stuff from here.” She was embarrassed, but she did have a good reason.

“All right then, I will do some extra work with her.”

“Thank you Roy, see you tomorrow.” Felicity hung up the phone and started packing. Not her stuff, but Sarah’s overnight bags, Felicities stuff could wait.

 

Felicity felt her heart drop after class on Saturday, when Roy had her put Sarah into one of the kennels at the training facility. She closed the door and latched it; Sarah jumped up and started screaming. Felicity stood there trying to comfort her when Roy came over.

“She will be fine Felicity, I promise. She is used to living in a kennel.”

“I know, but, but, look at her, she is terrified I am never coming back. She’s not a kennel dog anymore, what if she thinks I am abandoning her.” Tears streaked down her face and she was amazed at how upsetting this was.

“Dogs don’t understand time Felicity. They don’t live that way, she will be thrilled to see you in 2 weeks when you get home, trust me. I am going to work her and keep her busy, and heck, I may even take her home with me. Seeing as how I am dogless at the moment.” His voice was soothing and Felicity DID trust him, she really did, but it was hard, she finally forced herself to walk away, Sarah’s screaming bark haunting her as she left the kennel.

 

Monday came and Diggle found himself back at Roy’s to help with the dogs. He was having a blast and found that keeping his mind busy kept it away from the pain. He learned a long time ago that when you are working a dog, than you had to be THERE in the moment, nowhere else, or someone gets hurt. Now, maybe with lovely pet Goldens and Labs and little dogs, no one was going to get bit, but a lapse in focus and a dog learns a bad behavior, or does not get rewarded for a good one. And these people were paying a pretty penny for their dog to get trained.

“NO ABSOLUTELY NOT!” he heard Jonas, one of the kennel kids holler in Roy’s direction. Confused, he looked over to Roy, who wore an exasperated expression, with a small amount of humor.

“Seriously, she is not that bad, you go up to her all tense and shit and she is going to feed off of that, if you want to be a trainer you need to get over this fear of being bitten. ‘Cause, my friend, you will get bitten. Might as well be today.” Roy tried half heartedly to reason with his young apprentice.

“Har Har, no flipping way, you get her out.” Jonas responded. Jonas was a nice young guy, not military, but loved dogs and wanted to be a dog trainer. He hung out with Roy most days. Good kid, but not a lot of experience.

“Digg, my man, do me a favor a get the Mal out of run 4 will ya?” Roy looked at him. Now Diggle was never one to back down from a dog, but he knew his limitations with his balance and his leg, well in his head he did, in his heart not so much. He grabbed a slip leash from the wall hook and headed back to the kennel. He cleared his head and went into the zone and made his way to run 4. He could see the light brown fur pressed against the wire of the kennel. He said nothing.

When he got to the front of the run the dog launched at the door, spewing spit and venom and making a God awful screaming noise. He stood with his side facing the door and just let the dog vent a bit. Lots of Malinois and Shepherds were “cage brave”, meaning they would act all big and tough until the barrier was gone and then they would be fine. He was not sure this was the case with this dog, but he wanted to give the dog time to not see him as a threat. He just stood still, normally he would crouch down, but it was hard to do with his leg, so he stayed upright. He placed the flat back of his hand to the front of the kennel, in the hopes the Maligator would take the time to smell it, and he waited. He thought it would take a while, but it only took about 15 seconds, then he felt the cold wet nose of the dog against the back of his hand. Then a high pitched bark, then nothing. He turned his head slightly and saw the dog sitting at the front just looking at him. He looked at the dog closer, not making direct eye contact, and realized he recognized her.

“Sarah?” he asked the dog, knowing she couldn’t answer him, but the wag of her tail and lick to his hand was all the confirmation he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you or anyone you know is suffering form Post Traumitic stress please get help....http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/basics/treatment/con-20022540
> 
> If you are interesting in adopting a military working dog, please contact http://www.save-a-vet.org/d7/adopt


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